Ashes

They are piled up from the two packs of ciggeretts trying to calm the nerves I've spent all my money on to act the way I'm trying to combat. They are in a huge pile at every house I visit from burning the evidence that would get me 20 to life. They are evident in everyone's faces from the bridges I've burnt before new ones could be built. They where held in a shaking hand to put on a can so the crack wouldn't melt through the holes I put in the can with the tab. They where the remains of my best friends house that the police used as evidence to prove we where cooking meth. They where what my clothes where reduced to from nodding out with a cigarette in my mouth from the handful of xanax I ate. It was what was left of beloved relatives from the funerals I didn't attend ...... It is what my new life has risin from