As I Sit With Darkness

As I sit here, not knowing what I fear most, myself or life. As I sit here not knowing if I'll ever be a normal person. As I sit here knowing people love me, but wanting to love them, but I can't, because I can't even love myself. As I sit here knowing my love ones are suffering, because I'm suffering. As I sit here wishing I could be strong enough to over power what I know is wrong and do right. As I sit here knowing that my name will be just a memory to people that know me and always think about the bad things I've done. As I sit here seeing darkness in everything I see. As I sit here not knowing if I see the world for what it really is or just another miss guided person written off. As I sit here not knowing if my mind is just sick or just knows the truth. As I sit here I know that I sacrifice the happiness of loved ones for my thoughts. As I sit here I know I'm strong in one aspect. I will sit in darkness till it's my day to know the answers. As I sit here I'm sorry for my thoughts.