Apple Pie

No one should peek through the windows of my mind.. some horrors from my past I find them hard to leave behind.. maybe this life only holds wasted time.. like a hourglass with the devil's design.. these thoughts are like blood leaking on this paper.. so they come out smeared then disappear like vapors.. I think I'm done asking God for favors.. probably don't deserve them never broke through my layers.. self mutilation but all mine mental.. just trying to be loved but lack the credentials. smiling wide they still bypass the dimples.. this can't be life I think mine is a rental.. like it's snowing on me on the fourth of July.. so cold froze my tear ducts couldn't even cry.. death won't even come near this only I know why.. it's feeds on misery and I'm apple pie..