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apologies for the truth

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we know we are all of the sky in some way innocence of atmosphere crushes and shapes allowing others to drift stillness creating the bubble of the lens falsehood framed on the fallacy of vision the enraptured distracted by own brilliance laugh for when dust turns to stone it's job is done for it sees and feels no more the fractured becoming foetal questioners their screams the pain of answers as such we will solidify once again await smash or splintering until pain becomes an endurable truth create me once into thy components to surely capture the sky to bring it down

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Sara Kendrick

Date: 12/7/2023 6:31:00 AM

Way to go with this creative winner in Suzette's contest. Congratulations to you. Sara K

Di11y Da11y
Date: 12/7/2023 10:46:00 AM

Thank you Sara, much appreciated

Suzette Richards

Date: 12/6/2023 4:27:00 AM

Big congratulations on your top win, DD, with this magnificent piece - an excellent interpretation of the brief and flawlessly executed. It is an honour to feature your poem in my latest book, Rocking Poetry. Regards, Suzette

Suzette Richards
Date: 12/6/2023 11:45:00 AM

You are welcome :)

Di11y Da11y
Date: 12/6/2023 11:08:00 AM

Thank you Suzette, I actually did have to read all your helpful links in order to prep for writing for the contest but really enjoyed it once I got going. Thank you for my inclusion in your book, that's a lovely gesture. Many thanks

Unseeking Seeker

Date: 12/6/2023 4:22:00 AM

A fabulous write, DD, well deserving of the trophy win! Warmest congratulations and keep shining, God bless

Di11y Da11y
Date: 12/6/2023 11:06:00 AM

Thank you US - I enjoyed letting my mind run free for this one :)

Speaks Volumes

Date: 12/6/2023 2:51:00 AM

Congrats on your win D. A great effort.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 12/6/2023 11:05:00 AM

Thank you SV, I'm pleased with my little trophy - they are cute :)

Suzanne Delaney

Date: 11/15/2023 8:23:00 AM

I really liked hearing you speak the words and your narration added a dreamlike quality to the content . Such a fragile sculpture left to the elements. So many layers to your poem and I think you aced a difficult challenge. Best, SuZ

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/15/2023 8:27:00 AM

Many thank SuZ - I appreciate you comment. I could do with a better recorder than just my phone but it gets me to think about the rhythm and cadence, so it's nice to get positive feedback on it. Thank you :)

Craig Cornish

Date: 11/13/2023 7:05:00 AM

Delectable ambiguity and uncommon word pairings & thoughts seeking each other and the whole - cleverly. I might look at a "tontoism" in line 6, "by own brilliance" (one of the issues with syllable demands) and perhaps "enrapture distracted by its own brilliance"? Also, the use of archaic, unless done for a period write is a no-no, use "your" instead of "thy". One more thing, the final line, perhaps "and" bring it down, instead of "to" bring it down could be more powerful? Love the concepts here!

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/13/2023 7:49:00 AM

I've looked and like all your points and I'm guilty as charged. The enraptured are a group of people - so there's no changing that with 11 syllable max. My thy is resonating with present day to beginning of time vibes so I stand by it (but only on this occasion, you make a good point). The awkwardness of that 'to' rather than the softer 'and' feels more combative and works to my ear. I thank you though and love your comment - it's right up my street :)

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/13/2023 7:19:00 AM

Aww Craig I love your version of praise - I'll of course I'll look into these issues but as a poet I reserve my right to use 'thy' even when ordering at McDonald's otherwise no one would know I'm an artist :)

Paul Willason

Date: 11/13/2023 1:45:00 AM

An absolute gem DD demanding engagement with each line...challenging the mind to make meaning then trying to put the whole thing together. In the end, I just let go and let your words speak at a subliminal level as music does in a way.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/13/2023 1:53:00 AM

I was hoping you'd spot this one - I think as soon as John faved it I got a bit big for my boots and gave myself a degree in philosophy haha. To be fair I wrote it by switching off parts of my brain. Tried to ensure I kept instinctual thought in there though so I didn't drift into nonsense. A bit of a re-examination of that feeling of knowing via the cracks where the lights gets in. Thank you for your enthusiasm for and engagement with my poem - always valued x

I Am Anaya

Date: 11/12/2023 9:14:00 AM

A philosophical statement indeed, Dilly. I want to try the Suzette Prime Sonnet, I know syllables are involved. Very nice and beautiful image I saw on blog. GL -Anaya

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/12/2023 9:20:00 AM

It's not too tricky as no meter or rhyme, so not like a sonnet (which so far I can't do), just pick your syllable counts from the prime numbers below 11 and you can mix or them up or have a set syllable count. It's more getting your head in gear for metaphor and philosophy. Thanks for your comment x

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 11/12/2023 8:14:00 AM

the images and alliteration here are magnificent, gave me pause as I pondered their meaning. I loved how this line alludes to the impact of truth: laugh as when dust turns to stone it's job is done. Nicely done, Di11y. enjoy your day, Sara

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/12/2023 9:22:00 AM

Thank you Sara, I did a bit of prep and did the suggested reading. Made me regret I didn't study philosophy, I think it might have suited me. Thank you for your kind reflection on the poem x

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 11/12/2023 7:27:00 AM

This captivating poem combines so many scenes by combining sky, sea, and inner thoughts. Your poetry is always fascinating.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/12/2023 7:41:00 AM

Thank you Hilda, I appreciate your comment

John Lawless

Date: 11/12/2023 5:33:00 AM

I shall have to fave this DD. So many swords hanging overhead suspended by the shimmy of live. Each line commands its own moments of reflection. Beautifully done

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/12/2023 6:27:00 AM

Considering I imagine I'd buy the book of your curated faves I'm highly honoured, thank you :)

Ink Empress

Date: 11/12/2023 3:26:00 AM

Im loving the alliterations and imagery as well as deep metaphors in your poem, i havent yet really figured out on how to do this form, but im sure you must have done this very well, i really love this line the most “ falsehood framed on the fallacy of vision” deep! Soul stirring. Best of luck if this is for the contest.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 11/12/2023 4:07:00 AM

Thank you, I'm sure I'll need to play around with it. There's quite a lot to absorb within the rules. Thank you for your kind words