Animal Poems Ii

Animal Poems II These are poems about animals, limericks and other forms of doggerel. Ballade of the Bicameral Camel by Michael R. Burch There once was a camel who loved to hump. Please get your lewd minds out of their slump! He loved to give RIDES on his large, lordly lump! The Hippopotami by Michael R. Burch There’s no seeing eye to eye with the awesomely huge Hippopotami: on the bank, you’re much taller; going under, you’re smaller and assuredly destined to die! On the Horns of a Dilemma (I) by Michael R. Burch Love has become preposterous for the over-endowed rhinoceros: when he meets the right miss how the hell can he kiss when his horn deforms her esophagus? On the Horns of a Dilemma (II) by Michael R. Burch Love has become preposterous for the over-endowed rhinoceros: when he meets the right miss how the hell can he kiss when his horn is so horny it lofts her thus? On the Horns of a Dilemma (III) by Michael R. Burch A wino rhino said, “I know! I have a horn I cannot blow! And so, ergo, I’ll watch the lovely spigot flow! The Horns of a Dilemma Solved, if not Solvent by Michael R. Burch A wine-addled rhino debated the prospect of living unmated due to the scorn gals showed for his horn, then lost it to poachers, sedated. The Blobfish by Michael R. Burch You can call me a "blob" with your oversized gob, but what's your excuse, great gargantuan Zeus whose once-chiseled abs are now marbleized flab? But what REALLY alarms me (how I wish you'd abstain) is when you start using that oversized "brain." Consider the results! Refrain! The Sinister Snail by Michael R. Burch A sinister sinistral snail went dextral, to no avail, spent a week (here's a zinger) as a right-winger, but the leftist's now back in jail. The Arrival of the Sea Lions by Michael R. Burch The sound of hounds resounds in the sound. Hounds Impounded by Michael R. Burch The sound of hounds resounds in the pound. Prince Kiwi the Great by Michael R. Burch Kiwi’s a pee-wee but incredibly bright: he sleeps half the day, pretending it’s night! Prince Kiwi commands us with his regal air: “Come, humans, and serve me, or I’ll yank your hair!” Kiwi cries “Kree! Kree!” when he wants to be fed ... suns, preens, flutters, showers, then it’s off to bed. Kiwi’s a pee-wee but incredibly bright: he sleeps half the day, pretending it’s night! Keywords/Tags: animal, animals, doggerel, nonsense, light verse, hippo, rhino, snail, nature, funny, giggle, humor