And I Smile Again

Ah, how I have tired of myself! I am the white crow plus 33 misfortunes! The dark blots are in my destiny. Hope and Belief do not want to communicate with me. They have become tired. I do not condemn them – they have clients who are more successful, who hear them easily. But I have remained alone, and I sit on the edge of a silent grove. How and when did I arrive here? How did I know this road? Perhaps, at last, the largest Trouble has regretted what she has done to me and has brought me here, closer to God? Ah, how the heavens here are affable and kind! I feel love from trees and their friendship! The gold and crimson forests stand up in an autumn temple service, and I am among them. And I – already almost same as they: I am not failure person, not the outsider! I am a part of earth! I, too, am the Birch with gold hair! I bend down my crown to the ground and I smile again. .