An abusers love

Dont speak of love, then strike my face Dont promise me better treatment with false lips, my scars hold more fidelity and trust. Dont tell me you miss me, for your wishes show, only to cast me off homeless without a goodbye Dont speak of Joy's embrace, when fear is all you have summoned Clueless hearts do not understand my misfortune Can they decipher truths hidden behind my eyes? Truly, it was all a game for power and manipulation Starved days came, hungry whispers I cried out weeks without contact. protection you claimed, though it wasnt so For months, that little room, a prison, I seeked freedoms breath Years spent, unseen, unheard, tears unacknowledged, a silent heart wounded and revealed. Bought scar creams. marks faded, scars vanishing Embraced marijuana. anxiety subsided, relieved the strife Drank alcohol to make it all disappear numbed the pain as darkness whispered in my ear Dressed in longer clothing to hide the bruises and marks revealed on my body I'm sorry I couldn't make you proud, For I was just an embarrassment to you I'm sorry for words left unsaid, love unreturned I'm sorry for waking you up with my midnight tears I'm sorry that my income for you was never to your satisfaction Forgive my for trying to stand up for myself Forgive me for tending to my own mental health