Always

we always see ourselves as the prey when were the predator ourselves. were in a kind of place where we search for specific things to feed on . not just building your dreams but also being in it feeding your goal each day . like a specific dream a type of dream that doesnt really include having everything you want , a dream that doesnt include flowers, or a happy ending . more like thunder and a bomb ending , When it came to showing my "true self" to someone i didn't really did it . I mean I would sometimes but only part of it you know? because i would be so scared of me giving too much and not getting nothing in return . I guess part of me just didn't want to be part of this. but then i feel like I've come too far to quit . to many let downs and got myself right back up , to many friendly advices that left with no turn back , to many pills, to many ropes, to many let downs, to many thoughts of feeling of cutting my throat then , i finally knew where to go , not a happy place nor a place that i can just "forget" but a place where i could be me . and give myself entirely without being scared . A place where there is no happiness, but then again no tears, just a settled place that i never really found a road back too