Alone

Suspended . . . tormented, in a mind so distant I arrive at the said destination with a sigh. . . What I expect is mortifying What lies ahead still remains a meddlesome mystery The air is thin—the water droplets seem. . . warm But I feel a coldness when they hit my skin The skin that only once touched your hand. . . . . It is comforting when surrounded by shadow To feel the soft embrace of long-yearned rain It is dully consoling to know I am Alone. . . Chemical reactions are made in instances Each second of despair heightened by the electrical pulses Going mad when the waters clash And the feelings of comfort are gone yet again The thoughts that used to hold me up Have collapsed from under me And Alone is felt in a new shade…darker than the shadow of comfort The tears replace the rain. . . Boiling the skin on my face to redden and shame The burn provides little distraction to despair Knowing the one I love will never be here. . . Even now I envy those who can speak… Who scoff and spit—and whine, groveling in grit Those who can see and clearly feel their enemy How they spiritually dispose of their peer Through lack of understanding and jeer I would much easier embrace my darkest enemy, Than be with the one I love I would much rather abuse myself Than lay a finger on the precious one who wrongs me Because you have abandoned all thought of me. . . Through your life and innocence, You have harmed me—wronged me. . . You were mistaken. . . .I can never understand you Because I have never truly seen you At times I can almost feel you. . . But all I feel is pain All I feel is the burning rain. . . I envy those around you. . . Like the madman straight out of prison I even envy your opposers In truth, I obsess over the thought Of Alone: The definition of “Without You” . . . Without you here, I arrive at no destination What lies ahead is only despair The rain I feel . . . are tears— Comforts that never last And all that used to hold me up Is merely a heart-broken collapse. . . I never wished to cling onto your nonexistence. . . Believe me— All I ever wanted. . . Was a thought A. . .chemical reaction if you will A simple “I am here for you”. . . Without you, Alone, I confess, Sometimes one can only dream