Alone

writing by candle light like my literary Heros of years yester........................ .......................... what can I pull from my soul.. what gift can I sequester..................... ...................... As the pen Bleeds on to the paper I realize I am alone.................................................... I am hit with a wave of solitude so powerful I can hear it in my voice I can hear it in my tone................................. Loneliness is my life long nightmare and my only true fear....................................................... and I am living it right now and I am living it right here................................................ I have made desperate attempts over the past twelve months to ensure my safety from what I am feeling tonight.......................................... They failed I failed and the tears are starting to blur my sight...................................................... Hell on Earth is where I have landed there is no place I would rather be further from then here.......................................... But I am forced to take this punishment... I am forced to wallow in my own fear................................. It is surprising how much a man can learn about himself when he must endure every bad dream he had as a Lad........................................................... and what I have learned about myself is I am a Liar trying to fool people by making jokes when the truth is I couldnt be more sad.................................... So as I blow out my candle I look forward to Dreams and R.E.M. sleep............................................... and tomorrow I will reach out to the ones I love and if they reach back just a little.... maybe tomorrow night wont cut so deep