Afterthought
The calls come in
like a bored neighbor
I respond as if
I’m doin’ them a favor
I force a smile
my face starts to crack
they wanna talk
I say I’ll call them back
I watch a film
to try to justify my mood
a documentary
to focus my point of view
gain perspective
suppress my selfish thoughts
before I’m exposed
like the Wizard of Oz
My mind travels
to where I’m not
I think of myself
as an afterthought
I talk about real problems
like mine are fake
and hindsight is
farther than far too late
now my eyes won’t close
I don’t suppose you’d wanna talk?
you say you might
so I assume you’d rather not
after all, it’s late
and the world don’t revolve ‘round me
if I’m feelin’ lonely
I should have had company
and the light’s back on
I hum along with its buzz
if I’m unsure where I am
how can I know where I was?
but it all seems clear
I was sad but not this sad
and you were there
you had it bad but not so bad
I had my chances
in a different time different place
I didn’t miss the point
it’s laughing in my face
like people who
prove everyone else wrong
except when I proved you wrong
it meant you were movin’ on
like someone who
calls you a friend
but looks up to you
to catch you lookin’ down at them
you see them cringe
as you watch their face drop
and you know you won’t see ‘em again
till you’re an afterthought
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