Afraid To Feel

I feel afraid, afraid to feel, I look in the mirror, I bow my head and then I kneel. Hearing the screams burned in my mind, yet afraid to listen, fearing what I will find. Upon me lies a cape of darkness and gloom, I wear it like a shroud and hide in my room, ! stare at the door hoping yet fearing, that an end to this suffering is finally nearing...afraid to feel or feeling afraid, I can no longer tell, I find myself wondering if this could be hell....afraid to feel, what can be done, when the soul fills with fear and the hearts song goes unsung... Tis a tragedy of shattering despair. I cry out,"Someone please tell me when I learned not to care!" I grab my head and pull my own hair, whispering, why me? It just isn't fair. I long for days past, when love was constant and I had faith it would last. Now I scream silently, begging for the return, of the emotion that fate so carelessly burned....feeling afraid, afraid to feel, why hast thou forsaken me? I ask as I kneel. ! hear the answering sound of madness laughing, as it takes hold of my mind, leaving me gasping. Now comes to me my greatest fear, darkness falls upon me as I shed a tear, as my sanity begins to unpeel, I suddenly realize.....that I can feel....I look toward the mirror, and the glance that assures me I'm real, also assures me I'm still afraid.................... afraid to feel.