Addiction of the Soul

I cant live with my profound instability I cant be the poison and the remedy I can inform, enlighten, give an idea; cant explain how my reality's so severe Not willing to accept that I am actually an addict That my day to day life is controlled by a habit Over indulgence in substance abuse Determined by no reasonable excuse Taunted by inner demons I have created Suffer of Psychotic schizophrenia; drug related Will power ceases to exist never to reappear Self control lost with the inability to commandeer Sobriety brings lack of interest, days mundane From the daily use of speed i must refrain The need for a high overcomes any felt lows No lesson learnt from how bad my mind goes My own worst enemy from drug dependency No one else to blame because of ascendancy ever seeking that intoxicating rush and feeling until i realise that its from addiction i need freeing.