Addiction

I see that you laugh coyly as if you have done nothing to me. Your pure white outer shell is a canvas calling for me to make use of it. There are so many of you, how shall I choose? It really does not matter, for every version of you has the same effect. Your residence is my asylum-- it is the padded room that softens the fall and keeps me sane.... help me forget.... help me become numb.... I need your chemicals flowing through my veins each night. I cannot sleep without you inside of me. My heart beats faster like a clock rushing to reach eternity, and that rhythm seems to lull me to sleep. I even welcome the plagues of nightmares and hAlLuCiNaTiOnS that sometimes come with your presence.... paralysis eyes sewn shut awake! paranoia spirits torture awake! awake! delirium complete darkness awake! awake! AWAKE! When I manage to pry me eyelids apart and escape from the chains you have cast on me, you are gone... vanished... no trace left behind--even the details of the nightmares are forgotten. Please, I need you. I crave you. Being without you makes my insides devour themselves. (Ironically, being with you does the same). I cannot function without your voodoo, your magic ingredients. Wait, what is that I hear? You are calling to me. Another white canvas is waiting to be consumed....