Absent Night

Absent Night storm-of-sadness On an absent night The stars don’t seem to care They flicker in my mind like godforsaken candles. I await your return Dreading the waves of despair Trying to melt my distressing thoughts with the Blackness Of time But it is an absent night And there is no darkness to spare For moments held like a loosely tied string of pearls This is frightening In the dark I can light a torch To find them lest they break In nothingness they will be lost forever. I want to erase you from myself but I absorbed you without a trace without a hint of knowingness I can’t find even a faint line to erase Your presence has been absorbed within me and is in me, Like a nomad it roams laughing at my attempts to isolate and purge. Why you? I carefully dress up my thoughts of you Into air-dropped packets To satiate my physical needs And then a stray thought comes and tips over my mind and its carefully drawn conclusions. My thoughts rage again, trying to hide In blackness, in the dark… But it is an absent night.