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A Series of Unfortunate Darwin Awards

Roy Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden - LIFETIME Premium Member Roy Jerden - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled A Series of Unfortunate Darwin Awards which was written by poet Roy Jerden. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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A Series of Unfortunate Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards are a posthumous honor, recognizing those who have improved the human gene pool by removing themselves from it by their own foolish actions.

In a robbery way out in Long Beach
Elliot's handgun misfired in the breech
    Down the barrel he took
    A quite scatterbrained look
Then made it more than a figure of speech

There was a foolish fellow named Gary
Who gulped gasoline over near Cary
    The fuel made him gag
    So he fired up a fag
And now smokes in the state mortuary

"Look, no helmet!" Phil proudly decried
In the headgear disobedience ride
    He stood for his rights
    Then put out his lights
When he flew off his Electra Glide

An impatient Korean got miffed
And was ramming the doors of the lift
    Then went a bit daft
    When he got the shaft
But his ride to the bottom was swift


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  1. Date: 3/15/2014 10:26:00 AM
    Roy .. Congratulations with your awesome win...~SKAT~

  1. Date: 3/14/2014 1:17:00 PM
    Ahh!! Great quality poetry!! Way to go with this win..Congrats..Sara

  1. Date: 3/14/2014 11:08:00 AM
    This really fit the contest to a Tee... Congrats on the win.

  1. Date: 3/12/2014 7:08:00 PM
    I really enjoyed the dark humor that you put into this poem. You have great rhyme and a smooth flow to your words here. Very nicely done, Roy! Congratulations on your win, as well!...Thank you very much for the kind congrats on my poem. :)

  1. Date: 3/10/2014 5:22:00 PM
    I remember these and how well you did them. So glad to see it on the winners' list. Big Congrats to you, my friend.

  1. Date: 3/9/2014 11:19:00 PM
    Brilliant write on the Angel of the Odd. Congrats on a fine win, roy

  1. Date: 3/9/2014 8:25:00 PM
    You should enter these in the tickle my funny bone contest. These are so clever and hilarious. Sooo enjoyed! Peace and thanks for the comment. :)

    johnson Avatar robert johnson
    Date: 3/10/2014 10:48:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Tis a shame. Peace. :)
    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden
    Date: 3/10/2014 8:07:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks, but Francine nixed limericks. Too bad, as I can crank them out pretty quickly.
  1. Date: 3/9/2014 4:59:00 PM
    lol, Roy, the Darwin award folks are definitely in the spirit of the Angel of the Odd, four great snapshots in this poem. Congratulations on your win!

  1. Date: 3/9/2014 3:19:00 PM
    This concept was a Winner!

  1. Date: 3/3/2014 11:59:00 PM
    All great ones, Roy. I might try one someday. I did post a little quatrain on Special Relativity, however.

  1. Date: 2/27/2014 4:20:00 PM
    Roy, You are really wonderful at writing these clever and humorous Limericks. All were very entertaining! I especially admire them because I am lousy at writing them myself.

    Marcum Wong Avatar Connie Marcum Wong
    Date: 2/27/2014 8:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    This made me smile Roy....thanks so much. I have written one and it was really awful. I just don't have the funny bone.
    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden
    Date: 2/27/2014 7:34:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    There is a lovely poet named Wong/ Who writes poetry in a sarong/ She'll knock out a ballad/ As quick as a salad/ But with limericks can't get along
    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden
    Date: 2/27/2014 7:33:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks, Connie. For some reason, limericks are very easy to write for me. Here's one for you:
  1. Date: 2/27/2014 2:40:00 PM
    lol, thanks for a good chuckle

  1. Date: 2/21/2014 7:34:00 PM
    wow, you did awesome with these, Roy. It's so fun to research stuff like this and just do a bunch of them. Keep up with it. These make fantastic themes for limericks.

  1. Date: 2/19/2014 1:48:00 PM
    Yikes...guessing their mothers aren't very proud ones!! ;) Hey Roy; passing through to see what you're up to!

  1. Date: 2/18/2014 11:19:00 AM
    Love your sense of humor, man!

    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden
    Date: 2/18/2014 12:14:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks, Caleb. These were pretty hard to do as I couldn't just make them up out of whole cloth.
  1. Date: 2/15/2014 7:28:00 PM
    A limerick master you are sir!...Loved # 2 in particular...ALL are hilarious and congratulations to you! You will be getting Soup Mail soon...

  1. Date: 2/13/2014 6:51:00 PM
    LOL awwwwww we poor human beings! Light & Love

  1. Date: 2/11/2014 4:56:00 PM
    I agree with Rose, Interesting Roy, what more can I say. SKAT

    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden
    Date: 2/11/2014 5:49:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Yeah, a bit off the track, but fits the theme of Craig's latest contest, The Angel of the Odd. If you read the story by Edgar Allen Poe, the connection will become more apparent. Cheers, Roy
  1. Date: 2/11/2014 2:09:00 PM
    Interesting write Roy, much enjoyed xxx

  1. Date: 2/11/2014 2:06:00 PM
    I like to sometimes watch a program called "A Thousand Ways To Die"..It is amazing at the very foolish or stupid things people do..There were two young men who were drinking and getting high and decided that they could get really high if they sucked Fire Ants up their noses with a straw..The ants stung them all the way in and down into their lungs..They died from allergic reaction to the ant venom..Thanks for your visit..Sara

    Kendrick Avatar Sara Kendrick
    Date: 2/11/2014 2:07:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Unique and creative use of humor..Sara