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A moment in , space

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Below is the poem entitled A moment in , space which was written by poet Delilah Ventura. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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A moment in , space

I went deep into space
First I stepped on Venus
I met the Roman goddess
Goddess of love and beauty
Calming its deadly surface
Helping me survive
So, I can visit, Mercury
My morning and evening star
Giving me air it never gives

So, I may breathe and visit , Mars
Putting excitement in my space
My, deep space
My space of dreams
Dreams coming true

Has , I stand on , Mars
A place full of rivers,streams,
lakes and even oceans
I wanna sleep , on its highest mountains
Admire its deepest canyon

Jumping straight to, Jupiter
Known as, Zenus in , Greek mythology
I'm going to dance and sing
Stay there for days
To much to explore
The biggest planet in our solar system
Very stormy

So many different cloud formations
Over here the sky becomes the ocean
For this sight is amazing
So amazing it is
So many moons
In this deep space
I will never forget
As, I'm off to ,Saturn

Let it spin and spin
Take me for a ride
Let me sleep on your rings
Floating in time
Floating to, Uranus
Lord of the skies and husband of earth
It's freezing cold, ice all over
All , I can do is leave
Visit , Neptune

A planet discover in 1846
Along with it's big white cloud
But, the wind here is extremely strong
Causing me to land on , Pluto
Putting me to sleep, away from deep space
So , I can make it home on , Earth

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  1. Date: 10/11/2012 6:10:00 AM
    Wow...excellent!You have great imagination!

  1. Date: 10/8/2012 12:15:00 PM
    Congratulations on your placement in Nathan's "Deep Space" contest Delilah. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 10/6/2012 11:57:00 PM
    wow, you put a lot of work into YOURS, Delilah. VERY good one and big congrats in the contest.

  1. Date: 10/6/2012 11:57:00 PM
    Long time, no see, how are you, sweetie?

  1. Date: 10/6/2012 2:13:00 AM
    well-done poem friend Delilah. Congratulations!! :)

  1. Date: 10/5/2012 5:30:00 PM
    I like how you wove Mythology into your poem ! Good write, enjoyed !! Congrats on your win !!

  1. Date: 10/5/2012 4:24:00 PM
    DELILAH, congratulations with your awesome poem in Nathan's "deep space" contest.. enjoyed~ xox~pd

  1. Date: 10/5/2012 3:48:00 PM
    thanks for the support' nate