A Modest Proposal

A Modest Proposal By Elton Camp A solution to the nursing home problem found There are two groups who must switch around To nursing homes the criminals must move The old folks to prison their lot to improve Pensioners would get showers twice a week And have interesting hobbies they can seek For free all their medical needs will be met And any necessary medications they’ll get Constant video monitoring would be in place To provide instant response just in case Twice a week their bedding made clean Clothes washed and ironed will be keen Three square meals a day they’d enjoy A library and weight room to employ There’ll be a secure exercise yard To get a television won’t be hard The criminals would get meals cold And have to do whatever they’re told One shower a week will be all And often no attendant to call If they complain, nobody will care Or listen to those living in there Six thousand a month crooks will pay And have no hope of ever getting away For this proposal, criticism I may get Though I can’t benefit from it yet Of selfish motives I am free It’s what seems best to me