A Message From the Copy Machine

By Elton Camp I placed my document in the feed. Told the Xerox how many I need. I had to struggle hard to stifle a shout When I saw what the copier sent out. “Hello there, dear, my name’s Roxanne I just simply love the touch of your hand. Your fingers on my buttons are a big thrill, I ask you to please do it again, if you will.” I looked all around for a camera to see. Surely this must be joke made for TV. I figured that most certainly some ass Left a trick note attached to the glass. But nothing like that was I able to find. I wonder if perhaps I’m losing my mind. So I quickly took the copier’s letter And ran it right through the shredder. I touched the Start key once again. Came a note on pink, to my chagrin. “Oh, that time it really felt so good. You did that just like you should.” At that I made a bolt for the door. “I’m not coming in here any more. A copier with the name Roxanne I won’t let come on to this old man.”