A Liturgy of Anguish

Some say you lose your innocence, mine was given away in a jungle where the ground sucked up the blood. Making me wonder if the earth is a vampire and not a whore. Did I pay some forgotten debt, have I wept for the fallen enough ? Where were you Uncle Sam when I needed saved, When the dreams teased me awake, night after night, laying awake in a pool of sweat wishing for death and release ? Is there something I should say, but forgot ? Bullits fly both ways, coming or going. Do or die, can you kill again and again ? They said it is over, but is it ? No, it lives on inside fueling the sorrow. The woman who lays beside me is heaven and hell is within me. She rubs my neck soothing me till the pills snuff out the dreams. This is where I've fallen, heaven beside me, hell within, in a life that is a liturgy of anguish.