a little too raw

here's some old news no news. non event knowledge... I don't mean that ~ there was an Instagram post about resonance (sorry if I'm losing you, though it's fine as I'm talking to myself... real slow, trying to ensure I listen) two differently pitched tuning forks then two the same pitched it was about finding your tribe (I'd better say: same pitch resonates - ooh) when I'm totally me, I eat sandwiches messily whilst writing a poem with the other hand, try on clothes over clothes in the middle of the shop (no sandwiches involved), talk freely about nothing but somehow it's something and people say "hey you're great!" and I just about manage to say "thanks" rather than "I know"... but then a little doubt creeps in and I try too hard to blend in and I'm awkward and self conscious and wish I knew how to be just normal and want to close down the day and wait for a new one it's a shame, but I'm 'self aware' the torturous 'self aware' I'm in that mode now knowing how awful I am whilst how good I could be is the enemy it switches on it's head ahh here's revelation (b) - this is anxiety of course it is, ok. I can address that then there's the who's my tribe stuff (a) and how to be enough, not too much plus not this... perhaps I just be all the things give myself a rest how can I even post this... well, that's a different poem