A Letter I Will Only Read

My baby is going away. I lay trapped in these over whelming sad thoughts. Of the one I've been so sure wouldn't hang me out to dry. Let me drown in my own pain. Would never leave my side. My baby may being fading away. You didn't get to hear my side. That's no fault of yours. I couldn't stop choking down my tears. I could only utter singular replies. My heart is hurting beautiful. I stand here a broken man your kicking while he's down. I need to sort my thoughts but none of them are living my days without you. Trust me darling. I know I'm the biggest emotional cripple. I only know how to stuff my saddness so deep inside of me. I cant bring myself to talk about it. I'm sorry for my wrong doings but I love you the same way I did when I decided you will be my one and always. Breaking in our bed. Longing for your love from 10 feet away. Kills me to know I'm not the warmth you want any longer. Why cant you see through my eyes. Your my angel your face has jaded. I can hear my heart cracking in every finger tap of the text screen. My baby is going away. I dont blame her for wanting the things I cant deliver on. The best part of me is the son you gave to me. I wish I could utter this perhaps be able to Express another emotion other then anger. Trapped in my mind the words refuse to resonate through my quivering lips. One day you will understand my rock bottom. Maybe our hearts will beat in sync again until that day. I'm willing to wait for the rest of what life I have left to feel your love Victoria. My heart needs your healing beautiful. Please baby never go away. Richard Tarr 9/30/2019