A Flock of Startled Birds
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Several Armed Forces Veterans I have known have succumbed to Post Traumatic Stress, and have died by their own hand. This poem, from 2020 is in recognition of the struggle which for some, simply became too much.
A Flock of Startled Birds
He had sat for an hour on a long, low, flat rock,
He had checked himself over from bald patch to sock.
His leather shoes burnished to a mirror-like shine,
Tie ironed flat – a perfect straight line.
Trouser legs spotless, each one like a razor
Creases removed from a freshly-pressed blazer.
Beside him his beret, shaped, shaven and fitted.
Medals on chest at the spacing permitted.
A lifetime of honour, in metal and ribbon,
Scant recompense for the services given.
On the rock, gleaming black in the late evening sun
A Webley revolver – his Grandfather’s gun.
Then drawing himself up and heaving a sigh
He stood and was conscious of time slipping by
The sun was still shining but the far hills were dim
He knew that there wasn’t much time left to him.
No friends, no family, no future but pain
Nothing but memories of comrades, all slain.
The only survivor, he felt like a thief,
His mind filled with torment, dishonour and grief.
A lifetime of desperately trying to mourn
Till the shame and remorse were too much to be borne.
He put on his beret, threw up a salute.
A pang of fear stabbed, but he stood resolute.
With one hand in pocket he searched till he found;
Then picked up the revolver and chambered a round.
Near the rock, at his feet, lay a bottomless cave
Unmarked, uncorrupted, an ideal grave.
He stepped to the edge, raised the gun to his brow
“We all have our time,” he thought, “my time is now.”
As he tightened his finger, a calmness descended
In a moment the anguish and pain would be ended.
It was all he could do to defeat the despair.
Then a small flock of startled birds took to the air.
Copyright © Brian K. Bilverstone | Year Posted 2024
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