A Cold Voyage Into the Depths of My Mind

A very dark and lonely place, my mind is Most of my time is spent there, as not much goes on to my person To ever take me outside of it A fantasyland it could be thought of as Barrages of thoughts spinning wildly off in the distance Off the wall and ever so random Hopes and dreams that seem impossible, just over the mountains Luckily, no one will ever experience living in the hell that is my mind I’d never wish that upon my worst enemy For even they could never withstand it for even a day Nonstop introversion, intuition, thought, and judgement defines my personality As the rarest in the world Suffering from severe cases of anxiety and chronic depression, I do Dysthymia and atelophobia, just some of what haunts me From the slightest imperfection Or feeling of rejection Pushing me down Leaving me dejected What is one to do when they have two brains One numbly depressed That craves not a care at all But the other frighteningly anxious That will settle for nothing but perfection These symptoms combine and the brain is left dazed and confused Racing at thousands of miles an hour Desperately seeking an answer to how I should process my thought This cruel nature of my personality Only intensified by my life events The moving, the bullying, the divorce Tragedies that have built up walls around my heart and soul Forcing me deeper into myself and my intellect Such a colder place with each new visit Rebellion, anger, loneliness, and frustration I do not naturally possess Yet I still feel every day Starving for love, attention, and comfort Yet no means of attaining the emotional necessities The suffering from extreme social anxiety is deeply ingrained Deep in the being, from both the nature and the nurture From both the genes and the environment So it seems to be the case This is the tragic struggle I face Inclusion, understanding, and love, nothing more desired Yet none ever requited Left only to myself Left so the vicious cycle can continue its slow killing of me Extreme sensitivity is part of who I am Able to greatly understand and feel my feelings However like a child, unable to ever control, cope, or express them These qualities, each on their own, I am proud I possess But when constructed into the unique framework That makes my being, what a cruel joke Every aspect of my character Like it could not possibly be complemented in a worse way No one understands or cares, I'm one of a kind This has been A Cold Voyage Into The Depths Of My Mind