A Chemical Blessing

Waiting for that chemical reaction That burst of sanity To take effect I gradually move From the grey areas Into the ever increasing light Happiness encapsulated In my tiny pill Daily dose Of normalcy I wonder if I’ll ever be free From these prescribed pills And altered state Of reality But I think of the alternative Remembering the horror And demons of madness Monstrous tears Of imagined fears Locked up in my room As the world danced on by Behind flowered pink and grey Curtains of solitary confinement Thoughts of death A morbid lullaby Notes tinged with premonitions Who is the next one to die??? Life hangs from a thread I lived a life tinged with dread NO…I will not go back to that hell Another day, another pill I command my mind to be still And just accept the dependency At least there is constancy Addicted to continuing on To be able to sing life's song I look at the light And start to feel alright By the time he awakes I’m bubbly and great I love him into the day And I know it will be Ok Now I’m who I used to be From depression’s clutches free Not everyone knows the struggle How I often need a good cuddle For in the end my troubled mind Needs a love that is blind To the monster’s that I face And offers me sweet grace Maybe myself one day I'll wean And be completely clean But for now… the chemical blessing I just what I need To survive and thrive To be truly ALIVE! Eileen Manassian Ghali