A Candle In My Heart

It’s the smell of smoke It sends its first warning When we least suspect It’s always slow but focused It surely always creates a false impression Of being far away When it’s right beside us or behind us It’s soft; nothing near hard or overtly caustic It increases its intensity with bitter praise It is almost always wrapped up In a white linen of seeming admiral It has a crooked laugh Which shows up when it’s burning with glee But is full of hate and contempt It accepts pure kindness with a grin Whiles it poans on how to meet the love The pure love that gave a hand unconditionally When it had no one and was the center of mockery It comes with a mixture of hate and envy It’s always the same It has never changed throughout the years It just appears with different clothes And borne by different faces It’s right beside me It’s the crooked smile and the low tone It was the silence I felt when I began to lead It was the sharp plea and desire to learn Not for learning sake But to overtake and to strip naked It’s the same peacock that boasted And pushed me backwards to see the light It is the same volatile gas That burst out from it’s container with the slightest joke And felt no guilt choking me again and again It’s the inability to enjoy the pure gifts of love It’s the joy felt at my slightest failure It was the same pass received on the field That left confusion and pain It was the same envy that connived To vote against me It’s the insults I hear in my ears today It was the same alacrity That pushed her to rise and smite me It’s the force that made him cheat Just to humiliate me It’s the reason behind my spectacle And the faith that pulls me through It’s the message that shouts in my ears Every now and then Reminding me of who I am It’s the only reason I learn to fight again and again It’s the candle that burns in my heart now As I write with sweaty palms It’s my only compass and my hard journey The truthful evidence, that I’m almost there Just a few meters away From the promised land.