70 Metres Dash

Sports Day at the primary school The kids were 7 and 9 They’d been at the school for 4 or 5 years It seemed such a very short time. For dads there was the Blue Ribbon event I always gave it a bash; The ritual humiliation of The 70m Dash. Now bear in mind that some of these dads Were barely in their 20s While Muggins here had carried his bat And made my first half century. I’d first run this sprint 5 years before- I thought I’d give it a blast; I ran like the wind from gun to tape And made a respectable last. Similar results in subsequent years Elicited standing ovations The crowd recognised that despite getting old There’d been no deterioration. Year 3 I ran like a galloping mare The fruits of my training I reckon And earned for my efforts a personal best With a time of 31 seconds. (For training I ran a marathon I didn’t finish last in it, neither! I nearly caught that pantomime horse But outclassed the deep sea diver). But then I devised a masterplan To help me succeed in the task And at 50m I stopped for a tea Out of my vacuum flask. I’ve got you puzzled by this strategy How can I be so content? Of course I came last in the Dad’s Open Dash But first in the next event.