50 Years Almost

I can hear her choking back tears, soft silent sobs echo through the phone as she tells me “If he were still alive, we’d have been married 50 years today” I sat there in silence on the other end of the phone, not knowing what to say back How do you come up with words to say, a response that sounds appropriate? 50 years, so close, but just out of reach, not quite there yet 49 years of memories replaying in her head as she remembers. She tells me of her regret from all of the years they shared If she just would have spent more time not worrying about the little things Not complaining about the things that really didn’t matter in the end Then maybe she would not have this burden weighing her down. Now she has had time to think about all of these things since he’s gone And she sits alone, crying to me on the phone, angry at herself. She never cried at the funeral, but she cried in her room Next to the dimly lit lamp, late at night, under the TV light As she thinks about what life could have been like if only They made it to that milestone, 50 years…Almost, so close.