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Best Famous Spike Milligan Poems

Here is a collection of the all-time best famous Spike Milligan poems. This is a select list of the best famous Spike Milligan poetry. Reading, writing, and enjoying famous Spike Milligan poetry (as well as classical and contemporary poems) is a great past time. These top poems are the best examples of Spike Milligan poems.

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by Spike Milligan | |

The ABC

 'Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet 
Was heard a loud "Tut-Tut!"

Said A to B, "I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C Is a semi-circular back!" "I disagree," said D to B, "I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be An uncompleted O.
" C was vexed, "I'm much perplexed, You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat And Cow and Cool and Cape.
" "He's right" said E; said F, "Whoopee!" Said G, "'Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!" "You're dropping me," roared H to G.
"Don't do it please I pray.
" "Out of my way," LL said to K.
"I'll make poor I look ILL.
" To stop this stunt J stood in front, And presto! ILL was JILL.
"U know," said V, "that W Is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five I'm half as young as he.
" X and Y yawned sleepily, "Look at the time!" they said.
"Let's all get off to beddy byes.
" They did, then "Z-z-z.
"


by Spike Milligan | |

Teeth

 English Teeth, English Teeth! 
Shining in the sun 
A part of British heritage 
Aye, each and every one.
English Teeth, Happy Teeth! Always having fun Clamping down on bits of fish And sausages half done.
English Teeth! HEROES' Teeth! Hear them click! and clack! Let's sing a song of praise to them - Three Cheers for the Brown Grey and Black.


by Spike Milligan | |

Granny

 Through every nook and every cranny
The wind blew in on poor old Granny
Around her knees, into each ear
(And up nose as well, I fear)

All through the night the wind grew worse
It nearly made the vicar curse
The top had fallen off the steeple
Just missing him (and other people)

It blew on man, it blew on beast
It blew on nun, it blew on priest
It blew the wig off Auntie Fanny-
But most of all, it blew on Granny!


by Spike Milligan | |

Halved

 The essence of true beauty
Lingers in all-encompassing rainbows
Of your joy and laughter

You hold my hand and smile
As we ensconce ourselves in our world of fire
Our love is all there is

I touch your face
Your gentleness astounds me
I'm held in the honour of your love

Then overnight, the wrold truns suor
61 mInnIts past the ELevenTHH HouRR
I'M A L 0 N E


by Spike Milligan | |

Summer Dawn

 My sleeping children are still flying dreams 
in their goose-down heads.
The lush of the river singing morning songs Fish watch their ceilings turn sun-white.
The grey-green pike lances upstream Kale, like mermaid's hair points the water's drift.
All is morning hush and bird beautiful.
I only, I didn't have flu.


by Spike Milligan | |

The Dog Lovers

 So they bought you
And kept you in a
Very good home
Cental heating
TV
A deep freeze
A very good home-
No one to take you
For that lovely long run-
But otherwise
'A very good home'
They fed you Pal and Chun
But not that lovely long run,
Until, mad with energy and boredom
You escaped- and ran and ran and ran
Under a car.
Today they will cry for you- Tomorrow they will but another dog.


by Spike Milligan | |

The Lion

 If you're attacked by a Lion
Find fresh underpants to try on
Lay on the ground quite still
Pretend you are very ill
Keep like that day after day
Perhaps the lion will go away


by Spike Milligan | |

The Soldiers at Lauro

 Young are our dead
Like babies they lie
The wombs they blest once
Not healed dry
And yet - too soon
Into each space
A cold earth falls
On colder face.
Quite still they lie These fresh-cut reeds Clutched in earth Like winter seeds But they will not bloom When called by spring To burst with leaf And blossoming They sleep on In silent dust As crosses rot And helmets rust.


by Spike Milligan | |

Two Children

 Two children (small), one Four, one Five,
Once saw a bee go in a hive,
They'd never seen a bee before!
So waited there to see some more.
And sure enough along they came A dozen bees (and all the same!) Within the hive they buzzed about; Then, one by one, they all flew out.
Said Four: 'Those bees are silly things, But how I wish I had their wings!'


by Spike Milligan | |

Values 67

 Pass by citizen
don't look left or right
Keep those drip dry eyes straight ahead
A tree? Chop it down- it's a danger
to lightning!
Pansies calling for water,
Let 'em die- queer bastards-
Seek comfort in the scarlet, labour
saving plastic rose
Fresh with the frangrance of Daz!
Sunday! Pray citizen;
Pray no rain will fall
On your newly polished
Four wheeled
God

Envoi

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Get it out with Optrex


by Spike Milligan | |

So Fair is She

 So fair is she!
So fair her face
So fair her pulsing figure

Not so fair
The maniacal stare
Of a husband who's much bigger.


by Spike Milligan | |

A Silly Poem

 Said Hamlet to Ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?


by Spike Milligan | |

Bazonka

 Say Bazonka every day
That's what my grandma used to say
It keeps at bay the Asian Flu'
And both your elbows free from glue.
So say Bazonka every day (That's what my grandma used to say) Don't say it if your socks are dry! Or when the sun is in your eye! Never say it in the dark (The word you see emits a spark) Only say it in the day (That's what my grandma used to say) Young Tiny Tim took her advice He said it once, he said it twice he said it till the day he died And even after that he tried To say Bazonka! every day Just like my grandma used to say.
Now folks around declare it's true That every night at half past two If you'll stand upon your head And shout Bazonka! from your bed You'll hear the word as clear as day Just like my grandma used to say!


by Spike Milligan | |

Bump

 Things that go 'bump' in the night
Should not really give one a fright.
It's the hole in each ear That lets in the fear, That, and the absence of light!


by Spike Milligan | |

Contagion

 Elephants are contagious!
Be careful how you tread.
An Elephant that's been trodden on Should be confined to bed! Leopards are contagious too.
Be careful tiny tots.
They don't give you a temperature But lots and lots - of spots.
The Herring is a lucky fish From all disease inured.
Should he be ill when caught at sea; Immediately - he's cured!


by Spike Milligan | |

Eurolove

 I cannot 
and I will not 
No, I cannot love you less 
Like the flower to the butterfly 
The corsage to the dress 

She turns my love to dust 
my destination empty 
my beliefs scattered: Diaspora! 

Who set this course - and why? 
Now my wings beat - 
without purpose 
Yet they speed.
.
.


by Spike Milligan | |

Feelings

 There must be a wound! 
No one can be this hurt 
and not bleed.
How could she injure me so? No marks No bruise Worse! People say 'My, you're looking well' .
.
.
.
.
God help me! She's mummified me - ALIVE!


by Spike Milligan | |

Go North South East and West Young Man

 Drake is going west, lads
So Tom is going East
But tiny Fred
Just lies in bed,
The lazy little beast.


by Spike Milligan | |

Goodbye S.S.

 Go away girl, go away 
and let me pack my dreams 
Now where did I put those yesteryears 
made up with broken seams 
Where shall I sweep the pieces 
my God they still look new 
There's a taxi waiting at the door 
but there's only room for you


by Spike Milligan | |

Indian Boyhood

 What happened to the boy I was?
Why did he run away?
And leave me old and thinking, like
There'd been no yesterday?
What happened then?
Was I that boy?
Who laughed and swam in the bund*
I there no going back?
No recompense?
Is there nothing?
No refund?