Short Trig Poems

My butt is just so damn big
10 Irish men could do a jig
5 truckers could park their rig
16 Miners could plan a dig
9 drummers could perform a gig
2 Elephants could take a swig
22 college kids could do their trig
If only I’d eat less like a pig!

*For Susan's self exaggeration contest :)...

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We were tested on algebra
Well no duh.
I have been to trig and back
while still keeping algebra on track
These are questions you can answer
they are not asking you to be a tap dancer
Put your silly doubts to rest
and be done with this stupid algebra test!

This is done as a response to my dear friend, Bridget Williams' poem, Tested On Algebra...

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I see it in my dream
I see a steady blue light.
My REM force increases,
Then suddenly it ceases.

Blue light begins to blink.
Though twitching, I'm awake.
My mouth is dry, I cannot think.
Wobbly on my feet, I shake.

The kitchen comes to view.
Once there, I see it shining.
My coffee maker is new.
The steaming process is refining.

So uncomplicated! I don't need trig.
I am loving my new Keurig....

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Pity the fool who lives by numbers 
He counts his sheep while the sagacious slumbers 
Imagines triangles equal or obtuse 
Then numbers his thoughts by hypotenuse. 

He dreams of trig and long division 
Then stimulates his mind with a rhombus prism 
Wet duvets caused by a linear quantify 
He counts his orgasms by using pi. 

Correlation coefficients make him smile 
Exercises measured by the metric mile 
A career built on a quadratic path 
An idiotic devotion to anus numbing math....

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