To my mama they stole,
I dont blame you for what was done
You sacrificed your life for my childhood
You fought for my right of innocence
You spoke so I could have freedom
It's not your fault
You were just born black
I'm not old enough to understand why
But i do understand your love
I feel it even in your absence
I know I'm the child and your the parent
But even black mothers deserve to be nurtured
Your hugs were always the best medicine
They always made this bleak world better
When we can next visit I'll give all the hugs so you can be happier
I promise to find a way
To make the men with cuffs pay
For taking my mommy away
Love your 'sweet baby child'
(As you always call me)
P.s I love you
Stalked all their life
Stained by a crime not committed
A permanent mark on black skin
A reminder how we will never fit in
Labelled as criminals
Despite being exonerated
Probation was for those in need of reformation
Not those who already good behaviour
But any chance to stereotype
The oppressors will take their chance
To keep the invisible chains of oppression are locked in and secured
A way to surveil those who now walk in the light
Constant checkups, now a normal routine
Having to ensure their record is squeaky clean
Being suffocated by the fear
Of breathing wrong
They'll do anything to keep us behind bars
Freedom they promised, yet freedom we haven't received
Being watched doesn't equate to being free
Especially when we still hang from the trees of your critique
You can't claim slavery ended when we are still slaves to your constant surveillance
Not when incarceration is used as a way to keep us hidden
Not when we live a life of normalcy
Yet are still followed
By the law that claims to help
Yet shoots us as soon as we open our mouth
You can't claim it ended when we live under the power
Of the white man
They told us our skin meant exile
That our joy would be put on trial
Because it brings rain
But how can they hate the rain when it nourishes the ground we walk on
The same ground that grows the food we need to survive
They want us to cower in the face of their Whiteness
To bow down to their egos and stroke it
For us to call them superior
And reprimand our own blackness
And repent with silence
But we were born strong
Strength flowed through our bloodlines
Coursing through generations
Our ancestors created a legacy of pride
That we their children will not allow to be broken
We have endured the stings of their whips
We have lived through the shackles of slavery
We have taken abuse from the system
Yet still remained outspoken
Refusing to be the beat up victim
And faced the inhumane conditions of incarceration
We were made to withstand any storm
To hold our own
Whilst being pushed around
To trust in the power of ourselves
To embrace the harsh realities of life
To continue to love
And balance the rain with our sun
To smile and not giving them the satisfaction
Of their racism
And to not be bullied by their discrimination
As my body shakes violently,
In the midst of sound sleep;
Naked and alone
Lying on the cold concrete...
This reality of my nightmare,
I DREAM...
the inevitability of fire:
union.
i do not want to be alone.
what is pain?
sometimes there are cruel masters
who sneer and inflict pain for no reason at all.
i do not know where they come from — why do they come at all — or where they go
and so i am always afraid.
today i awoke and felt anxious and sad
i wondered, “will it get worse?”
the sunlight is pure truth
and only that matters.
i sit outside and feel my body swell with its warmth -
birds are playing and fighting and singing as the wind
hurls them about.
we are warmed and illuminated by the same glowing, burning sun. —
somehow the sweltering heat reminds me of something
and i am not afraid.
and then the accused fell foul
of yet another condemnation
without trial
the sentence spoken in anger
shards of bloody mosaic
stick to his bare feet
from where she threw
the glass on the tiled floor
punctuating
compartmentalizing
puncturing an unspoken truth
superficial wounds already closing
he wraps a bandage around his heart
squeezes tightly to feel alive
accepts the verdict
though no crime was committed
a scar remains from
what should have been
a beautiful night
and the rope tears into his hands
07th June 2023
There are so many trapped
and tortured souls in this
desolate place.
We are ghosts, screaming for freedom,
darklings, crying for light.
Never sure how to grasp onto
something invisible,
without strangling it.
Even before the cold bars
made of murk and gloom
there was no hope,
only bleakness.
Now "lost'' takes on
a greater, deeper meaning
for us here.
Lost in the abyss of incarceration,
groping for strands of liberty.
Deprived of human spirit,
Forbade femininity, devoided masculinity,
By force at first,
But by choice over time.
Resisting may seem futile
Do rebel my Sisters and Brothers,
Insurgence is necessary
to rise and revolt!
But do not rise against "them",
Rise against your darkness
against your self hate,
your intolerance of others,
against your deep seeded fears.
For hope my Friends, and
the only way to survive this cage
is to Grab tight the Light, all your Strength Hope and Love
For it is the only weapon against
The descending into the the Darkness of the Abyss
Within the confines of these walls, my Father. Mother speaks to me.
My faith is in my Father who says; surely I will be set free.
I shall not be given over to men of whom I am afraid.
My feet shall be loosed from net and snare,
that privately has been laid.
They try their best to keep me here until my crown turns gray.
Little do they know, the Lord has decreed, this place, I shall not stay.
They possess the keys, the locks they turn, and the gatekeepers all about.
They try their best to chain my spirit, but my God cannot be kept out.
I wait upon the blessings of my precious Lord,
Upon a holy ship of faith, I truly am aboard.
I am not righteous, nor am I holy, neither am I cleaver.
I shall keep my faith in my Father, in that I do the endeavor.
Your father and your mother they are
The connection to where you are from
Your father and mother came in same manner
Created by their creators before they created you
That's your ancestry and route into existence.
It is not by chance that you belong to that route
You had a choice in it when you existed before here
In the plane where your choice could create
Deciding the life you live in earthly existence
As your ancestry leads you to your source
So the forces that accompany man on the earth
Call it Arusi; Agwu; Guardian Angel; Christ or Saint
However you understand the higher forces that guide
They were in synch with that route in the beginning
That route which you chose to come to earth
There are no allegations that
My birthright is of a monster
Nor is there a pretense that I am beast
But one of the brutes
Is hibernating
In the recess of me beneath
The etiquette of a queen
Is to be poised, decent, and unique
But there is a leviathan
That has aspirations to be unleashed
For many decades past and future
This monstrosity continues
Pondering who or what will be
On life’s menu
Please take a step back
I can’t be responsible if there
Is a consequence of a full lethal attack
Read the signs and beware
There is a hellion in my soul
That desires to be disimprisoned
And it’s portentous
Because it’s gasp is only within
A few unsafe measurement of feet
I served jail time in 2020 alright!
Sleepless were the nights, stuck on to the lights.
My cellmates said Woof Woof, Meh Meh and Meow!
Locked behind bars that opened from the inside,
When the year started I had no idea I was in for this ride.
I served jail time in 2020 alright!
Prison really changes your life and habits,
In order to keep my food I had to become a beast.
My cellmates said Woof Woof, Meh Meh and Meow!
There were times we were allowed to get sunlight,
The confinement yet little freedom ended in a fight.
I served jail time in 2020 alright!
We grew a family bond concealed in a hole,
Our language barriers were broken and gone.
My cellmates said Woof Woof, Meh Meh and Meow!
An unsolicited world changing experience to bear,
To make the world great again was the word in the air.
I served jail time in 2020 alright!
My cellmates said Woof Woof, Meh Meh and Meow!
-Inactive Volcano
I wake up unknown
Then fall back asleep awake
To remain alert.
Distinct so out of reach to be removed
I recall vague in somewhere
the warmth of being held
comfort nurtured to mothers breast
so dependent yet so secure to be there
only the beginning
only innocent eyes opening
they had no perception of fear
I cannot recall when I changed
nor scratch some point for the point of blame
it all happened so quietly
everything unseen by tiny increments
nobody gave me the rules of the game
destined to lose
but still forced to choose
the subsections in my freedoms ornaments
How liberties device born to a prison
and a life, alive, an illusion
Upon the chains at my wrist I awaken
the whiplash of fears fabrication
and I'm always afraid, always afraid
the eyes of them on me shall menace
and drag me down to preordained
first breath in penance
guilty as charged
and sentenced by the self-righteous
Say you the dream of awakened
and to the need epitomized deliverance
only the beginning
only innocent eyes opening
for they had no knowledge of fear
they only expected
only anticipated
living happily here
How liberties device born to a prison
and a life, alive, is naught but delusion
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