Best Mattel Poems

...Barbie’s precision, stiff, lounging in glamorous style, 
Plastic pink body asleep in a brand new cardboard box.
Barbie, eyes still open, abused by many of Ken's wiles,
She was once truly human, he......

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...They want to be skin and bones with plastic wasters, 
They want to be stupid, they want to be famous, 
Fake, superficial and contagious, 
"She don't want your love, 
She wants your money, boy." 

Mod......

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...The Barbie Doll Flap

By Elton Camp

A group of folks are raising hell
Asking a fat Barbie from Mattel

Should a doll be impossibly thin
Or preferable to have a double chin?

Seems to me th......

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...(alternately titled: idolizing childhood's end
today April 25th, 2021
generates elusive warm treasured memories).

Akin to significance my eldest sister
felt toward her “Willies” –
(totally tub......

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...Nutter Butter. Almond Joy, Mounds Bars, and Cherry Mash.
Those candy manufacturers know how to name to get their cash.
We contenders scoff; we snicker and sneer.
The toymaker crazy idea brigade ha......

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...blowjobs behind park washrooms.
family packs of porkchops.
fisherprice or mattel.
pornstars praising jesus.
99 cent lipstick in pink shimmer.
aluminum christmas trees.
$5 viles of heroine.
mad......

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...To help you with your history class
These all happened in the past
February 4th to be exact
And you can take it all as fact

The year was 1959 – the Barbie Doll was born
Kids thought it just a doll –......

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...While meditating earlier today,
a flashback leapt
     clear for me to assay,
those ever receding

     early boyhood daze,
     now subsumed within fifty,
plus nine shades of gray
blissfully......

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...What's new with me...Matthew?

Well for starters Nationwide
road service emergency
one man cutting crew
with battery charger in tow knew
exactly why no juice (think electricity),
his hunch fou......

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...On March the 9th in ‘59
Some frowned and many cheered
‘Cause that’s the date a brand-new doll
Named Barbie first appeared.

Though girls were mostly smitten
Critics very soon attacked
Because ......

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...Thankfully wife as helpmate available,
when yours truly feels unswell
her tender loving care can spell
relief afflicted which she can hopefully quell
but spouse of mine, he doth not aim to overse......

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...Deserted we lie, banished to a shoe box; discarded metal
scraping metal every spring as our ignored box gets shelved 
in a different room of the house; forsaken and further away
from real ......

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...She was the prettiest doll in the whole world,	
Elegant, stunning, waist-less, buxom,
Curves all over the place,
No straight lines.

Shocking for a child’s toy 
Shocking for 1959.
Mattel was b......

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...They could not call them dolls.
	Because they were afraid of little boys’ reactions to the word doll.
So Mattel named their boy dolls 
             ACTION 
            FIGURES

	Gave them sword......

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...Barbie was the ultimate fashionista.
I received her when I was nine;
she had a shape; no ordinary baby doll.
No baby at all. It was embarrassing to dress her.
Or rather undress her.

Then we ha......

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