Best Babysitter Poems

My parents said I could not keep the black, stray cat.
They explained our canary would not survive that.

Parents out, a sitter, and my four-year-old mind
Let the cat in and hoped for the best in due time.

I am ashamed to have plotted murder when four,
Sad an innocent bird died cause I liked cats more.

The whole family...

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The Babysitter

Little Patti Mouse
Use to come into my house
And Mom and Dad would leave
And Patti would be mean.

She was the babysitter.
We couldn't do a thing.
We couldn't get a drink
Or go out on the swings.

We had to eat our supper
And nothing after that.
“But Mommy let's us have a treat.”
“Get your jammies on you brat.”

We didn't like...

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I used to baby-sit a lot, when I was young
I was a well sort after young miss
I get on really well with kids
And they liked the babysitters kiss.

Each small child I put to bed
A story then a quick kiss on the head
I’d settle down to watch TV
And eat the supper they left for me.

Each time...

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She lived just behind us
on the cross street.
We were young and poor,
our children, mere babies.

Now, our youngest is 48,
she's a bit older.
We're approaching senility
but she remembers . . .

changing diapers,
heating formula,
bedtime stories,
and fried bologna sandwiches....

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It's another lazy day
My room has had its fill
of darkness and its play
The baby's sleepin' still

I'll run on up the stairs
and pour my morning tea
that is if no one cares-
I'll flip on the T.V.

Watchin' all the game shows
(I know 'em all by heart)
When 11 quickly goes
I guess it's time to start

So shut the T.V. off
and...

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Your dog is your best babysitter
You can’t count on your cat
Cats never seem to care enough
And you can count on that
Your dog will let kids use them
As a pillow or a stool
And if your baby’s willing
He will lick away her drool
He will let the baby poke him
And even pull his hair
Then snuggle up beside him
And...

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I didn’t need a babysitter;
She wasn’t there for me.
She was paid to watch my little brother,
He was only three.

She was all of sixteen;
Two more years she had on me.
I didn’t know much about young girls,
But I knew she was pretty.

My brother was taking a nap;
She said she had a date later that night;
She wanted to...

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Need A Babysitter Horn Limerick

Should have seen all the Trump litter
No wonder supporters became a quitter
After all his nonsense putting up with
Separating truth from lies and myth
Has been know to need a babysitter.

Jim Horn...

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Methinks the here
     to fore purposeful inclusion
     of key word "babysitter"
a slight oversight describing
     residents at Highland Manor
     (a particularly nagging omission
     in previous epistle to detail,
     how flat screen televisions

...

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Tired babysitter thought she’d have some Post Toasty cereal.
The milk knocked her flat, she fell asleep in their papa’s chair.
When parents came home, they called her Mom Miss Merrial.
Could she spend the night? She was already asleep and there.

Babysitter’s mama came over and picked her daughter up.
She knew these children woke up at the crack...

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She yanked Sue by the belly,
She pinched Lou on the nose.
She shoved us from the telly
And she trampled on our toes.

She went through the cupboards, snooping
And she stole our paper clips.
But the worst stench was her pooping,
Then she ate our potato chips!

I have had it, I told my siblings.
Go find a long rope, and scissors...

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(This is a fictional poem)

When it comes to my parents, I'm still angry and bitter.
I'm a thirty-six year old man and they still hire babysitters.
The babysitters treat me like a child and they suffer my wrath.
They tuck me in at night and they even give me baths.
They won't let me watch TV and I have...

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Death of dating started to happen on a Wednesday.
We had eaten a lovely supper at a favorite restaurant
Loved it going down.
Not so much two hours later as it came back up

Death of dating continued to happen the next Friday
When a disgruntled employee who was fired put shards of glass
Into the chunks of blue cheese that...

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She turns on the television
As she hears the sirens sound
She tries to call the children's parents
But they're no where to be found

Only sixteen, she's scared and all alone
The children only two and four
She is a very dependable babysitter
Tho she's only done it twice before

"It's time to seek immediate shelter"
She heard the announcer say
What was she...

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Sometimes sweet 
Sometimes bitter 
The babysitter
Watches over naughty kids
While parents dine on steak and wine
And upon return the children wake
For Mum and Dad to tuck them in
Destined for La La Land
As Mum and Dad make love as planned...

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