The Casualness of Casualties

In the intimate interlace of free will and fate, in the ultimate interplay of time and place, and with the consummate checkmate of my human dignity, all that is.. is over in the stormy, swarming space of mere moments. turbulence rises as sun and clouds intersect - his calm persona A random cancellation fits in perfectly with my schedule. In the lucky twist of a Wednesday morning, the doc happened to have an earlier time available. I arrive and set my umbrella down as I sit in the corner seat, alone with my journal, grateful to be on the fringe of the pulse around me. My thoughts swoon, intoxicated by the lush honey wine of last night’s lovemaking. Behind the arbor of our well-tended landscape, passionate flora grows wild. Sensual ink sizzles in release from my amorous pen. Wanton words rush, in poetic passage, to press their sheer skin against the physical page. I’m rosy with the blush of love even after twenty-five years of marriage. a wild-rose in bloom flower head full of sweet scent - bulldozer chains brush The waiting room is alive, a beehive abuzz. A community gathers, familiar with each other in their usual appointments of personal injury and workers comp claims. Bilingual conversation spices the crowded waiting room. This morning, a Portuguese dish is the topic of discussion. Morsels of tasty details are translated into English. A kiss of the fingertips releases affectionate praise for the saffron infused white wine sauce. Mozambique is declared “Delicioso!” I smile as I recall my own racy recipe; a piquant blend of long-lashes and loose curls, hazel eyes brought to a flirtatious simmer garnished with risqué lingerie, stirred, shaken and served while hot. Voluptuosa! warm breath of summer - pollen-laden goldenrod colors feet of bees Just another typical day in this snug working class neighborhood. Until, a high velocity kick explodes through the door with a blasting barrage that splits and splinters the bones of the scene into a stinging hive of non-stop violence. No time to scream, or hide, or repent. No last dance, or kiss, or goodbye. Black muzzle strobe light freezes fight-or-flight into a staggering slow-motion. Adrenaline and cortisol never stand a chance. Chaos cascades in rapid-fire flash. Shell casings jump lively, leaping from their chambers and diving to the floor in a metallic clatter. The acrid scent of angry gunpowder sharp as a strafe. A cool-minded extremist moves methodically. moving in rhythm not a ripple but in waves - wasp colony swarms Before I understand what’s happening, a force blows me back against my chair and steals my exhalation. Seized respiration struggles in vain to return. In the din, the ding and ting of spent shells reminds me of wind-chimes. Are wind-chimes falling again and again? My waning pulse whisks my fading mind home on soprano notes… Home, to my garden; where breezy fingers tickle the tinkling from decorative metal bells. Air fuses with broken chords wafting a choir of cloudless notes in a farewell aria. How did peach blossom zephyrs sense I needed an angel’s palliative song? Home, to my kitchen; the sunflower center that attracts my flock, rich and vibrant with love that feeds us. Wednesday night dinner, everyone coming over, the chatter, the laughter, my menu planned - but not yet executed. My beloved children and granddaughter, soon to be born, promise me you’ll always turn your unfurled petals toward the Sun. Home, to my husband; the champagne that flows through my veins. That smile, his large-frame voice, his gentle gestures that pull me in, those effervescent eyes that excite me so, oh the lust of our love! We tingle with uncorked joy and overflow with good fortune. A toast to you, my darling; I love you forever. I love you all, so so much. A final tear gathers in the corner of my eye and grows a belly pregnant with memories before it falls. Metallic clatter drags my tapering thoughts back to reunite with my doomed body. The passing bell within my chest is silenced by the bestial steel drumbeat. Savage intent interrupts thoughts, dreams, dinner plans, sentences, laughter, heartbeats, lives. A mortal sin throws a lasso of sorrow that will forever noose the tenderness of loved ones left behind. In this Hell, I slip on a knell from life to death. hush befalls garden broken chimes strewn across mulch - distant sirens scream My soul leaves a down-to-earth hollow husk. Lifting, I am soft; a clear cashmere mist sunlit in all directions. I rise above the bleeding carnage as the last moan dies. The no-longer-living ascend in a meteoric rise leaving precious belongings behind. Mine; a splattered notebook that survives me. A formation of imagination, alliteration and reality; thoughts nestled like flowers between pages. Red petals of rhythm and rhymes scattered across white sheets. Emotional nectar now mingles with the red-hot spill of my blood quickly filling in the empty lines of an unfinished love poem. Sweetbriar falls as a wicked wind unwinds last lifeline-vine from the arbor. wild-gardener wails useless thorns on fragile rose - Moon aligns with Sun