The Taxi Driver

I mean I’m not saying that it will happen just that it might. What, you don’t think so? At all? Well, if you read the papers like I do every morning mister, especially every Sunday morning when you get the pull out puzzle sections, I never can do those crosswords to tell you the truth, then you’d know that this is real. A real possibility. It’s real shit. I don’t know when and I don’t know why but it’s coming. The Russians are going to do it somehow and someway or another. Through our phones or internet or iPads and that stuff everyone has in their back pockets right now. I mean just look at the chemical attack in England a few years ago. You telling me that wasn’t part of a bigger picture? A larger plan? I used to try and tell my students that they needed to watch and read the news but they didn’t listen. No one seems to listen these days. All too busy swiping this and liking that. I know, I know I sound and maybe I am. Jesus, I am old. Older than I look anyway. I got a wise head on my shoulders, that what my father always used to tell me. So just think about that next time you switch on your laptop or use your camera phone, that someone might be watching or listening in because you never… what’s that? Oh, yeah of course. Sorry, I got carried away. I get carried away talking. It’s nice having someone to talk to don’t you think? No, no, honestly let me get that for you. I’ll… there we go, careful you don’t drop it down the… oh, not far at all. If you take the first left down from here, you see where I’m pointing to down the road there? First left and then about two minutes down on the right you’ll see it. And you. Have a good – gone. I guess I should wait here and see if I get a walk in. Or should I call the… no, I’ll give it a minute or two and see if anyone jumps in. You never know. Better stretch my legs out, bend the knees to stop them from getting stiff and pins and needles again like the last few nights. She had on some powerful perfume that lady. Have to roll down my window to make sure my sneezing and hay fever doesn’t start up. Smells a little bit like mum’s used to. God that scent would make me cough and sneeze like nobody’s business. It’s balmy. I can feel it just through the little opened window. Like an Indian summer, that’s what they call it. The heat. Maybe I should’ve taught them that in English when I we did Romeo and Juliet, the innuendos of heat and being hot. I mean we looked at her soliloquy’s double entendres in enough detail didn’t we? If wonder if Atticus still remembers it from when I helped him revise. He should do. He’s doing Lit at university for goodness sake, he’ll need to have a good mind and memory to study Shakespeare again. Maybe I should read one of the plays next, get back into some of those characters. God I bet Othello would just come flooding back the minute I read the first line, all those notes and annotations I made in college – what is… oh fuck how do I… I hate this thing so much. I’m sure that’s how I answered it last time. Oh, yeah it’s me. I’m here. No I’m free, just dropped one person off. Just down from The Hoplight club. I thought I just had to wait for a chance walk in or for you to call? Sorry. Sorry I misunderstood. My third night. Thanks, yeah I’m sure I will. Right okay. That’s fine I can be there in less than a minute it’s just round the corner. I’ll call in when I’m done. Okay not problem. Thank you. Shit I need to remember not to just idly. Well not idly, I thought I was doing the right thing but never mind. Wasn’t done intentionally was it? I can do this, I can get the hang of this and… bit of a tight turn this actually… there we go… and get of the hang of this in no time. It’s okay. Remember to name the feeling and let it go, float down the river. Guilt, shame, anxiety. All for possibly doing a bad job. Drift off along the river and away. Okay. Okay. Next job. Better this than back home. Better this next job than stopping off at the shop. That I don’t need. Better to keep working all night and not being home alone. Okay. It’s okay. Drift off along the river and away. God this road is bumpy I didn’t realise it before when I was dropping that other person off. Different part of the road though I suppose isn’t it. Right, he said he’d be right… there we go. One minute like I said. Yeah it’s me I’m waving. Do you need to put that in the back? Sure no problem of course you can. So where are we going to? Great. I know where that is, well I guess I should do shouldn’t I really? So have you had a nice night? Oh lovely, that sounds like fun. Just you? Were you just watching or taking part in it? You know I’ve always wanted to do something like that but never had the confidence to. It’s great, what a great way to spend your evening. What did you write about? Or speak about I guess I should say. Oh amazing. I love that book. You know I used to teach that. Who is your favourite character? Yes I agree, that’s what everyone says but I don’t especially like them either. They’re very irritating aren’t they? So is that what you spoke about? In role. Oh that sounds great. I would’ve loved to have seen that. How did you start? Did you mention… of yes, we’ll get a move on now. Sorry. I got carried away. I get carried away. It’s just nice chatting to people sometimes isn’t it. You’d think being in this job you’d be able to see and talk to people all day but not everyone likes to chat. But you must a good speaker and be able to hold a conversation giving what you’ve done this evening? I couldn’t get up on a stage I don’t think. How many people were there? That’s not bad I guess, maybe I could handle that. I could talk in front a room of kids or colleagues fine, no problem at all. But in front of strangers, listening to something I’ve written or was trying to act. I’d seize up probably! I’m impressed that you managed to get through it. Were there many other performers on – just down the road. Not long now. Sorry I bet you’re fed up of me talking now aren’t you? Oh no that’s okay. I was a teacher yeah. Just under twenty years. English. That’s how I knew of the book you mentioned. Maybe I should look up the open mic night when it’s next on, just to see. No not anymore. She’s with someone else now. That’s okay. These things happen. A few years ago now so it’s fine. I still see my son. Well as often as we can with him being at university now. He spends most weekends there with his girlfriend and I understand that’s where he wants to be and with his friends in his house and whatnot. This? Oh not very long at all. Only this week actually. I stopped teaching about two years ago after my wife left. It just didn’t seem to matter much to me anymore. It kept me busy and focussed for a while but I wasn’t doing my best work so… no, no it’s fine. I’ve asked you lots of questions and I’ve been speaking far too much anyway! You’re just being polite too, making conversation. I appreciate that. A few hours but I’ll stay on and pick up a few extras if I can. To be honest I took the job so that I wouldn’t – ah you’re right. God I am sorry. Let me just… are you sure? I can double back and get you closer? Really it’s… I should... Okay. Well let’s just make it an even eight due to the fact that I overshot and haven’t dropped you off right outside. Great. Thank you. Careful on the cobbles. You have a nice – gone. What am I like? God I hope she doesn’t call in. Or leave me a bad review online. I got carried away. I get carried away. Hang on I can check my profile online and see if anyone’s left me a bad review. I can just refresh it as I drive. It’s just nice chatting to people, that’s all. Beats being at home thinking about what I could be doing. Should be doing. Was doing this time a few years ago. I’d be lugging a bag of marking onto the kitchen table and flicking through books all night. Bet she’s out to dinner with him. Fuck if they got in here for a lift I’d kill myself. No. No. Don’t talk like that to yourself. Remember breathing. Remember mindfulness. Remember self-compassion. And better being here and helping people out than being at home with the TV and bottle of wine. Can’t do this job and drink and it keeps me sober. That’s a good thing. Keeps me fresh faced in the morning. Still no bad review here. Okay. Okay. I’ll just refresh the screen through my shift and check it a few times tomorrow. It’ll be fine. It’ll be fine. Right. Call in. Get the next job. Get in there before he calls and thinks I’m being lazy again. God what’s the… that’s it. Engaged. I’ll just wait a minute for him to pick up and give me the next job. Put my hazard lights on while I wait. Wonder if a Russian’ll here this.

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