The Liar and His Clothes - King Lottenbuglimeier (Portion 2)
The Liar and His Clothes
Portion 2
King Lottenbuglimeier
As fairytale history would have it, there was a king that lived and ruled on the island of Far-Far Away. The king was none other than King Lottenbuglimeir, but to those who knew the king personally, he was addressed as King Booger (I know, what a horrendous choice for a pet name, but he didn’t seem bothered by it in the least, and let’s face it, his surname is quite a mouthful!)
KIng Booger was the rightful king, and the successor of his father. He continued the family's royal legacy with all the pomp and glory known and expected of kings.
King Booger had ordained the island of Far-Far Away the capital city of his entire kingdom which was everything under the Realm of Oblivion at the Bottom of Everything. It was from the island headquarters that all royal decisions, announcements, decrees (and the occasional game of Charades) and judgments were issued and dispersed abroad.
King Booger was not the sharpest king to have ever ruled, and that’s the truth. But the king prided himself to be a quick wit. No one dared say otherwise. He was the king after all, and a rather pompous one at that. Whenever he tooted his horn, which was often, his royal subjects would silently roll their eyes and get busy with their duties.
King Booger loved being king. Hour upon hour, day after day he was presented with folks suing one another, feuding, thievery, the list goes on and on. But he often questioned his decisions at the end of each day, wondering if he delivered his judgements with enough royal authority. He didn't want the islanders to be disappointed. He was big on dramatics. Between you and I, he had a lot of insecurities. For one thing, he was quite small in stature. It has been rumored that his little stature was the motivation behind his theatrics. What he lacked in size he more than made up for in his delivery. He had an ego that was larger than the island itself!
Everyday, after settling the list of town criers and their complaints, he would just sit on his throne with a far away look, sigh heavily, and tap his fingers in a discontent fashion. His servant knew the cues. No one had to ask what was wrong. Ever since one of his servants made that mistake and paid for it with his head, they dared never to question the king’s mood. They all would hem and haw to the king how excellent his kingly delivery was in all his kingly judgements until the king got irritated with all the fuss.
“Alright already! Carry on with your affairs for crying out loud!" The King barked.
And off his servants went scurrying in every direction before he decided a good head chopping was in order. It took a rather peculiar bunch of folks to fit the jobs they filled to serve a rather peculiar king.
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