Secrets at Dilley Crossing - Chapter 3 - Dr. Sean
Lilly and Frank found themselves together with nothing between them but an awkward, heavy silence—a silence that was thicker than the uneasy tension in the room. They looked around the room avoiding each other’s glances. Lilly shifted in her seat, crossing and uncrossing her legs while Frank tugged nervously at the taped gauze around his knuckles.
Lilly scrutinized Frank’s gauzed hand; his injury was probably self-inflicted, and she wondered what he’d struck with such force to injury himself and why. Lilly couldn’t help being concerned for him. In fact, being concerned about the elderly was the reason why Lilly worked at Hickory Pines. Even as a child Lilly cared about the wounded and broken people she encountered. For that reason, many of her childhood friends were wounded, broken-hearted creatures who were fragile and in need of repair. She felt their pain so intensely and had a deep-seated desire to take the pain from them and fix what was broken, as if doing so would somehow diminish her own pain or fix her own broken spirit. And when she couldn’t fix them, Lilly became inconsolable.
“Why can’t I fix them, Grammy?” she’d ask.
“You can’t fix broken humans. They’re not like a piece of broken furniture that you can merely glue back together or even a wounded bird that you can simply fix so it can fly again.”
“So, I can’t fix them?”
“No, Doodlebug, I’m afraid not. You can’t mend a wounded soul with a bandage. Their spirit is what’s broken, and they’re the only ones who can fix it.”
“But…but,” her voice cracked, “I have to, Grammy! I need to, Grammy! That just isn’t fair!”
“You’ll learn soon enough that life is unfair, and sometimes it hurts deeply; and you feel helpless when you see someone hurting.”
“So, is there nothing I can do?”
“Do you remember what I did when you injured yourself while playing outside? You’d run inside the house sobbing and screaming. I felt so helpless because you were hurting, and I couldn’t get rid of your pain. The only thing I could do was wipe the tears from your eyes; gently clean your wound; then sooth it with ointment. That ointment healed the wound, and over time the wound faded.
You see, Lilly, when someone is hurting, there IS something you can do. See them with your heart and listen to them with your eyes. And when you do, you’ll see their pain and understand it. Remember to be kind. Kindness is a tonic for the injured soul. Be gentle. Gentleness is the antidote for cruelty. Be understanding. Understanding is the antidote for pain and suffer. So, wipe away their tears and clean their wound with your kindness, gentleness, and understanding. Those qualities, like that soothing ointment I put on your wound, will help them see their own pain and help them heal their wounds. When you talk, remember to speak to a person’s heart. Be patient. Always be patient. Healing can never be rushed.”
Lilly thought about the shadowy reflection she’d seen earlier in Frank’s eyes. What did her heart see? A crushed, calloused, almost soulless man. What stories did her eyes hear? A story of betrayal? Abandonment? Hatred? Lost hope? Perhaps shattered dreams? And what stories did he not want her to hear reverberating from within the scars, wrinkles, and deep lines on his face? She wanted to reach out to Frank and wanted answers to her questions. But she instinctively knew that he wouldn’t easily reveal himself to her. She’d need to show him kindness to build his trust; she’d need to show him strength to gain his respect; she’d need to be there for him; and she’d need to patiently wait for signs of acceptance. Lilly was willing to wait, content for now with the connection she’d made with Frank. He’d come around in time. She knew it, knew it in her heart.
It was Frank who broke their silence. “You’ve been staring at my hand an awfully long time, sweetheart. Why the hell haven’t you asked me how I hurt it? Aren’t you the least bit curious?” he asked combatively. “Or do you not care about me? Otherwise,” he snarled, his lips quivering slightly, “you would’ve asked by now!”
She took a deep breath and looked him squarely in his eyes. “You’re wrong, Frank. I do care, but I also respect your privacy. How you hurt your hand is not really any of my business unless you decide you want me to know.”
“Bah! You’re just impossible and damn hard to figure out.”
“You got that right, Frank. I am impossible, and I don’t mince words. So remember, I’m feisty and certainly not your run of the mill little lady who likes to be figured out.”
“Me neither! So, don’t you go trying to figure me out. And you need to stay out of my business,” he said with hostility. “You got that, sweetheart?”
“Got it.” Lilly wrinkled her nose at Frank.
“Now, now!” Dr. Sean entered the room and interrupted their squabbling. “Ah,” his eyes scanned the room. “You must be Frank. Etta told me I’d find you here waiting for me. I’m Dr. Sean, and …”
Almost immediately, Frank disliked Dr. Sean. His voice was monotonous and wheezy; and when he spoke he sounded like he had a grass reed for a tongue. Plus, he was thin, stalky, and stiff like a mannequin. When he walked across the room, his legs looked like stilts with hinges at his knees. His complexion was sallow making him look sickly and weak. And Frank couldn’t stomach weakness.
“…what brings you to the infirmary today?” he turned his head to greet Frank.
Frank couldn’t stop staring at Dr. Sean. His head’s too small! He can’t have much of a brain in there. He wanted to reach over and snatch the concerned look right off Dr. Sean’s tiny, pinched face. A strong slap might do, though.
Dr. Sean extended his arm for a handshake but immediately withdrew it. “Well, I guess that bandaged hand answers my question.” He laid his hand on Frank’s shoulder, “I’ll need to remove that gauze and take a closer look.” Dr. Sean reached for his hand, but Frank jerked it away and covered his ears, hoping to silence his father’s brusque voice echoing in his head.
***
“You’re not hurt. You’re such a wimp!” The veins on Frank’s forehead bulged and throbbed, and he began to sweat.
“Get up!” Frank’s father growled from behind the ropes. Frank knew that if he didn’t get up and knock out his opponent, he’d have another bloody bout to fight at home. So he stood up, wavering for a brief second before his opponent threw another punch that left a deep gash above Frank’s right eye. “Don’t be a wimp! Be a man!” His father yelled. His opponent delivered a combination. The first punch blurred his vision. The second struck his jaw with such force that blood pooled into his mouth. “I’ve got lots of money riding on this fight. Don’t be a wimp! End this now!” Frank spat out the blood from his mouth; dodged the next punch; and began his attack, firing several jabs that had his opponent stumbling backwards. Frank finished him off with a powerful right cross to the jaw that sent his battered opponent careening to the floor unconscious.
***
Frank shifted his position on the examination table; and began tapping his knees rhythmically. “See!” His voice rose almost to a scream. “I’m no wimp!”
“I didn’t call you a wimp, Frank. I won’t hurt you,” Dr. Sean said in a conciliatory tone. “I just want to help you.”
“I’m not at all worried about you hurting me. I just want the hell out of here,” he demanded. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need anyone’s help. I can take care of myself.”
“Now, Frank, Lilly interceded, “we all know you can take care of yourself. That’s not the issue here. Dr. Sean has a job to do whether you want him to or not. You have no choice,” she said with a firm voice. “There’s no need to complicate things or make things worse. Just give him your hand.”
“Psh! Perfect! Just perfect,” he sputtered. “Alright!”
Dr. Sean took Frank’s hand and removed the gauze from around his knuckles. “You have some pretty deep gashes in your fingers and considerable bruising on your knuckles. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought you were in some sort of a fist fight,” he said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
“Are you mocking me?”
“No, Frank, I’m not mocking you. Just trying to add some humor to the situation.”
Frank’s mouth hardened, and he thought about knocking the words right out of the doctor’s mouth. “I was.”
“Was what?”
“…in a fight,” he retorted with a wedge of anger in his voice.
“With whom?”
“With the wall in my apartment.”
“Well, looks as if the wall won! And I think it goes without saying that a man of your age shouldn’t be fighting anyone, especially a defenseless wall.”
“You can’t tell me what to do. I’ll fight whoever and whatever I want. Now, just be done with it so I can get on with my day.”
“Okay, then let’s get started.” Dr. Sean gently pressed around Frank’s hand. “The good news is that you don’t appear to have any broken bones; but those cuts are deep enough that I’ll need to suture them.” He retrieved a pair of latex gloves, snapped them on his hands, and threaded a curved suture needle. “Now, keep your hand flat and still until I finish.” He closed each of small cuts on Frank’s fingers and wrapped a gauze bandage around his hand. “I’m finished. You can relax your hand now. But, you’ll need to return to the infirmary twice a day for the next four or five days so I can change the bandage and make sure your cuts are healing properly.”
“What the hell?” Frank bellowed, his voice sounding almost savage. “I’m not coming back here. No way! I can take care of myself. I’m no wimp!”
“Of course, you’re no wimp. No one’s saying that, Frank.” Lilly spoke bravely though the color had left her face. “Just calm down. Dr. Sean has a medical responsibility to change your bandage and monitor your progress. You need to cooperate!”
“I don’t give a damn about his responsibility. I don’t like people taking care of me, and I’m not cooperating! Just give me some gauze, and I’ll be on my way.”
“If you insist,” Dr. Sean said. “I don’t want to fight you. I’ll get you some sterile gauze packages. But before you leave I’ll need to check your records to see when you had your last tetanus shot.” He flipped through Frank’s medical file, “Hmm…that’s perplexing. There’s no record of when you received your last tetanus shot. In fact, there’s next to nothing about your past.” His eyes held a puzzled, almost frantic look as he fired a round of pointed questions at Frank. “Why is that? Are you being treated for any medical conditions? Are you currently taking any medications? And what about your family’s medical history? I need answers so I can address health issues with you.”
“You ask too many damn questions! There’s absolutely nothing you need to know about my past, nothing at all. And,” Frank said shiftily, “there’s nothing you need to know about my family. Just give me the shot and the gauze, and I’ll be out of your hair.”
“Fine, Frank, fine!” Dr. Sean stormed out of the examining room and returned, armed with a hypodermic needle filled with cold tetanus serum. “Roll up your sleeve, Frank,” he said with a stern voice. Before injecting the serum, Dr. Sean hesitated. That Frank! He thinks he’s so tough. I’ll show him and stick this needle in all the way to the bone or twist it just enough to send him a message. Egads! What am I thinking? I can’t do that! I’m a doctor and a professional. I shouldn’t let Frank rattle my cage. But still… Dr. Sean thrust the needle into Frank’s arm, slowly releasing the icy hot serum. He removed his gloves; before disposing of the hypodermic needle, he thought, I ought to hold the needle up and blow on the end, like a gunfighter from the old west blowing the smoke from the end of his pistol. “Who’s the badass now, Frank!” A humorous smile flickered across his face, and Dr. Sean silently chuckled to himself. After the morning Lilly’s had with the old coot, I ought to pull her aside and tell her what I was thinking. She’d probably get a kick out of it.
“Here’s your gauze, Frank.” Dr. Sean shrugged off his dark thoughts and pitched the used needle into the medical waste bin. “You’re free to go.”
“So that’s it? Just like that you’re dismissing me! I sure pegged you right. You don’t really care what happens to me.”
“Listen, Frank,” a rush of anger stormed through Dr. Sean’s body, “you were perfectly clear that you didn’t want my help or anyone else’s help for that matter. I’m only giving you what you asked for. So,” the words jolted from his throat, “don’t you go twisting my words or my intentions. You know where to find me if you need anything.” He gave Frank a quick, frozen smile; and before losing his composure, he hurried out of the room.
Frank hobbled down from the examination, struggling to keep his balance.
“I’ll stop by later and check on you, Frank,” Lilly said as she opened the infirmary door. He opened his mouth to speak then stopped and glared at Lilly. Something soft flashed just beneath the surface of his hardened expression, and she wondered about the sudden shift. It was too late, though. The emotion disappeared before she could identify it, like reaching desperately for an escaping balloon with the string dangling so tantalizingly close. But the wind pushed it away, and it was lost forever.
Frank turned away and shuffled out of the infirmary. Lilly watched him as he plodded his way through the lobby. With each step, his feet seemed to almost stick to the floor. He eventually found a secluded bench on the verandah where he sat down and stared out at Hawkes Pond. In the distance stood the decrepit, abandoned house Lilly had seen earlier that morning. It stood silent, shuddering on the hill perhaps wishing the morning light would warm its weary walls. And its windows looked back at Lilly like the eyes of an empty soul, and she wondered, How long since it heard the laughter of a precious child, felt the coolness of fresh paint, or contained the fragrance of Sunday dinner?
Then Lilly saw a slight shimmer, as if the air was being warped and twisted. In a flash of pale, silvery light the transparent figure of a young boy materialized. He streaked past Hawkes Pond and ran barefooted toward the verandah. He was small with teddy-bear like eyes, tanned skin, and shirtless underneath a pair of tattered overalls. He darted past Frank dangling an invisible kite with ribbons from one hand yelling, “Come on!” He motioned Frank to join him. “We can fly this kite together. It’ll be such fun!” The boy giggled and ran back in the direction of Hawkes Pond.
Frank stood up, tightened his fists, and shook them at the boy. “Get away from me kid! I’m too old to fly a kite!” he hollered. “Stop bothering me!”
Lilly shook her head in disbelief. Impossible! I can’t believe what I’m seeing! Did I really see a ghost? Or did I let my imagination get the best of me again? Her mind flooded with an endless stream of questions. If he’s not a figment of my imagination, then who is this boy and why is he talking to Frank? Does Frank know him? Did the boy once live in that old dilapidated house? Is he in some way connected to the man on the dark horse that I saw earlier today? Is he a Mason? Why are Frank and I both seeing him? Coincidence? Maybe, just maybe, Frank and I have something in common after all.
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