Real talk: loyalty currently missing (poem to long to submit)
You know when you go through that real bullshit in life?
I'm talking about those real hardcore life changing strife's?
You hope certain people will be there, Yet when I took a look around,
To ask for help to get some guidance, to ask there advice.
Yet I couldn't't find many familiar faces, certain people seemed to disappear,
They just couldn't be found, I wonder, should I file a missing persons report?
It's not like there was a huge crowd of people to begin with, there really wasn't!
So, their faces wouldn't, well they couldn't have been missed.
Then I realised why they couldn't be found why? you ask?
Because they didn't want to hang around they didn't want to be found!
Not a sight, and check this shhhhh not even a sound!
When shit got real and the laughs had become fewer the trips cancelled.
Why! No loyalty!
There was no sight of it, not a sound from them no loyalty! Could be found.
Anywhere around not that I could see anyway, was it playing hide and seek?
Games aren't really what I needed, I needed some support.
I was really in need of a little reassurance!
I was really in need of a little guidance !
Or any fucking thing! Would have been better than nothing For that matter.
You've all simply disappeared when shit got shitty, you've got no loyalty,
maybe it's permanently Maybe it's temporarily maybe I shouldn't care in reality.
Real talk DO NOT
Rely on anyone but yourself!
So that when you find yourself alone,
trying to pick up the pieces left of yourself,
You won't be disappointed when no one turns up.
Or hurt when you realise you are on your own,
a broken woman who's got to rebuild her shell,
alone is extremely disheartening.
You even think why should I even bother,
no one else seems to, they feel no loyalty to me!
Real talk realisation!
Now you've got walls,
each brick represents emotional turmoil.
You've built up over time taller and thicker.
To protect yourself not only from an enemy,
but now from those faces you thought would be there for thee.
Their eyes don't meet yours directly anymore.
Which can only mean one thing, there loyalty is no more.
Are They behind you doing god knows what, whispering, gossiping, judging, or just simple not bothering,
because your welfare isn't a priority to them.
It could be anyone from your circle,
that so called family member, that so called friend in which you trusted,
and people wonder why you build up walls that
are as high as skyscrapers! Which you've reinforced.
so now you're
Unapproachable, Unbreakable, unaccessible, unreachable.
So I guess maybe I'll just start becoming,
firstly uncontactable, then unreliable, and finally well and truly un-get-able.
In the words of the marvelous Marilyn Monroe,
If you can't handle me at my very worst!
Then you don't deserve to enjoy life with me at my very best!
I think support is a more appropriate word than handle in this scenario
But either way,
when all the hard work, and the utter shit is over and done,
No you don't just get to just waltz back into my life,
you stood by and watched my near demise, become finalized.
I don't think I need to define what I'm suggesting further,
but at the start of all this bullshit your face couldn't be found,
and my phone, my doorbell not even my god damn email
pinged, buzzed it didn't make a single fucking sound!
That's not what I believe family or friends stand for, or stood for
I gave you my love, I gave you my loyalty.
Now I don't know what to expect from anyone anymore,
Well actually I guess I do, if I expect nothing from you or from anyone,
then I won't ever feel let down, nor will I get upset from your lack of loyalty or respect.
Good luck climbing my new wall it's not been scaled successfully yet!
They are more secure than even Broadmoor!
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