PUTTING THE BITE ON THE MONEY LENDER

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SHORT STORY 4048 words

PUTTING THE BITE ON THE MONEY LENDER

The office door flung open and out stepped Jock Hanlon, five feet five inches of

wiry Scotsman. The smile on his face would've done justice to a ravenous dog that

had just had a large meaty bone placed before it. However Jock's smile was made up

of gums, not teeth on a face that was wrinkled and tanned, and unlike the ravenous

dog he would've had a great deal of difficulty eating a meaty bone.

Jock was followed by a rather dapper gentleman who stood on the verandah

peering after Jock. He lent against the doorway, his close set eyes following the little

Scotsman as he hurried down the street. The name on the stain-glass window read,

Basil Gandy-----Money Lender. He was dressed in a fine-cut suit, with his waistcoat

supporting a gold fob watch that reflected the early morning sun. His highly polished

shoes clicked together as he nodded to a business acquaintance on the other side of

the broad street. Basil Gandy stretched out both his arms, as if he'd just woken from a

good sleep and soaked in the warming sun on his rather rotund body.. Just then a

mongrel dog made the mistake of stepping on to Gandy's porch. Gandy let go with

his right foot catching the canine in the ribcage. The mongrel ran off yelping with its

tail between its legs. Gandy chuckled to himself, then turned and went back inside his

office.

The stride of old Jock Hanlon belied his age. He almost bounced off the wood

slatted verandahs and the red clay surface in between the buildings as he hurried down the main

street like a weanling pony. His large hob-nailed boots were barely touching the

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ground. He doffed his hat as he passed Mrs. McCrudden, who was president of the

local women's association, whatever that was called. “Morning Mrs.

McCrudden,” said Jock as he kept on walking. He knew he daren't stop for he might

lose half the morning having to listen to all the local gossip. Once Mrs. McCrudden

got a start on, well she was harder to stop than a locomotive with a full head of steam.

“This is the most unusual loan I've ever given,” was the money-lender's comment as

Jock shook hands with him. But Jock didn't care what Gandy thought, he only had

one thing on his mind and that was getting some new false teeth with the six quid

that Gandy had lent him.

Jock turned down a little side street, walked a few more paces then entered a door.

It was the surgery of the town dentist, Zeke McMahon. Jock had to wait quite a while

as he didn't have an appointment, for he wasn't sure whether he was going to get the

loan or not. The intermittent screams coming from the other room reminded Jock of

all the times he'd been there to get his teeth out. Finally after two hours of waiting the

dentist was ready to see him.

“How come you're here?” asked Zeke, “You've got no more teeth to pull, that is

unless the last lot were your baby teeth.” Zeke thought that was very funny, chortling

away to himself. Jock was not terribly amused but smiled politely. Everyone in town

knew it was smart to stay on the right side of the only dentist in town. “I want some

false teeth,” said Jock rather excitedly. “Ah,”said the dentist slowly, “They're very

expensive and you'd have to wait a couple a months for them to be made.” “I know,”

replied Jock, “I've been talking to Chubby Enright and he told me all about it.”

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Chubby had recently had a set of false teeth fitted by Zeke. “I know how much it will

cost,” said Jock as he pulled the six quid out of his pocket that had just been

borrowed from Gandy. Zeke had never seen Jock with that much money before but

he wasn't going to ask how Jock came by it, after all a customer was a customer.

“Alright, come back on Thursday and I'll take an impression of your mouth,” stated

Zeke, “In a couple of months you won't know yourself.”

Jock returned on Thursday and a mould was taken for the teeth to be made. Jock

was sick of eating soft foods and soups. He could hardly wait for the two months to

go by. The first thing he wanted to do when he got his teeth was to try them out on

the biggest juiciest steak he could find.

After what seemed to be an eternity the day finally arrived. Jock had just received a

message at his place of work that the teeth had arrived and they were ready to be

fitted. Jock worked at the Harkness Feed and Seed store. When he asked his boss if

he could knock off an hour early his boss readily agreed. Jock was such a good

worker and you always have to look after good staff. Jock excitedly left the store.

Again he was bouncing off the side-walks and the red clay in between as he hurried

down the street towards the dentist's surgery. One and a half hours after entering

Zeke's surgery Jock emerged from his rooms with a smile big enough and bright

enough to light up the pavement. He had finally gotten his teeth. It was just on 6pm,

when most men had finished work for the day, so he thought he'd head for the

Harkness Royal Oak to see some mates.

As Jock walked down the street he made a point of saying hello to everyone, even

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people he didn't know very well. He made the point of flashing each and everyone of

them a great big smile with his mouth full of teeth. How proud he felt, how

exhilarated. He was like a child that had just been given a new toy.

Jock pushed through the swinging doors of the Harkness Royal Oak, pausing

momentarily once inside, then bounded over to the table where Bandy Anderson was

seated. Bandy was the local undertaker. Jock and Bandy were close friends. Jock

normally started a conversation with his good friend with, “I know someone that's

dying to see you, and Bandy normally retorted with, “ Bring him over, we've got

plenty of boxes.” But he didn't bother with his normal quip this evening. Bandy was

agog with delight as he saw Jock's broad smile, courtesy of his mouth full of new

teeth. All of his mates that were seated with Bandy were. They had a couple of beers each, then at Jock's suggestion they left the pub and headed for Chubby Enright's Steakhouse Restaurant. As everyone sat there waiting for their orders to be brought out Jock was close to salivating.

Chubby Enright's restaurant was famous for tender steaks and Jock's new teeth had

no trouble biting into his first piece of steak in such a long time. All his mates

watched as the first piece went down. The look on Jock's face suggested that there

was somewhat of a taste bud frenzy going on inside his mouth. As he chewed his eyes

closed to savour the culinary delight. One cut up piece after another went down until

there was only bone left on his plate. Jock wiped his mouth with his napkin and put

his knife and fork parallel to each other on the plate. Bandy Anderson stood up and

offered a toast to Jock's fine new choppers. The little Scotsman grinned from ear to

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ear as the toast was drunk. What a night thought Jock. As far as Jock was concerned

life could get no better. After dessert and coffee the friends bid farewell to each other.

Jock walked slowly to the edge of town, where he'd built his small shack some

twenty years ago, and turned in for the night. It was a very peaceful sleep.

Part of the reason Basil Gandy had lent Jock the money for his new teeth was the

very steady job he had at the Harkness Feed and Seed. Jock had worked there for five

years, after giving up prospecting, and was highly thought of by his boss, owner

Austin Bennet. Unfortunately in the six months since Jock had acquired his new teeth

things in the local area weren't too good. The price of cattle was down and the wheat

crop had failed for a second year in a row. Jock's working hours had been gradually

reduced down from 5 days a week to just two days. This was barely enough for Jock

to survive on, let alone pay off a debt to a money lender that charged high interest.

It was a Wednesday afternoon and Jock was buying some food at the Harkness

General Store. Jock could now go shopping during the week, seeing he was only

working two days. However he had to be very careful with how he spent his money.

As Jock was about to leave the store a young spalpeen approached him and handed

him a note. Jock went out onto the verandah of the store and placed his groceries

down next to some barrels of flour. He opened the note. It was from Basil Gandy and

he wanted to see him that afternoon. This was the day that Jock had been dreading.

He had fallen behind on his teeth payments. He slowly picked up his grocery bags,

said hello to old Pop Alcorn who was sitting in his rocking chair on the other side of

the barrels, and slowly started trudging home. Once home he put his groceries away

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and made himself a cup of coffee.

All the time he was walking home and while he drank his coffee Jock was trying to

think of what he was going to say to Gandy. Surely the money-lender would

understand that times had turned hard, not only for Jock but for the whole district.

Surely Gandy wouldn't be as bad as most people said he was when it came to money.

Jock finished his coffee and once outside the front door closed it slowly behind him

and begrudgingly started the long walk towards the money-lender's office.

As Jock walked down the main street he passed Darce Shepherd and his bullock

team. He had a load of uncut logs on his long wagon, especially designed for hauling

timber from Mt. Crackinback some 30 miles away. Jock nodded to Darce as they

approached each other. Darce was there that night at Chubby Enright's Restaurant

when Jock was celebrating getting his new teeth. He noticed the forlorn look on

Jock's face and wondered what was wrong. The little Scotsman tried to ease the

tension he felt and momentarily thought about the mountain that Darce had just come

from and how it got its name. The locals reckoned it was that tough working on the

mountain, cutting and hauling timber, that anyone that did would end up with a crack

in their back. So the locals named it Mt. Crackinback. It was only a fleeting moment

of respite from what was on Jock's mind and the problem he had.

The bullock team had disappeared out of sight by the time Jock had found himself

on the verandah of the money-lender's office. Jock gingerly knocked on Gandy's door

and when the door opened up Jock was quite shocked. Gandy was all smiles telling

Jock how glad he was to see him as he ushered him inside. Jock sat down in a chair

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on the opposite side of the desk to Gandy's swivel chair.

The money-lender started reminiscing about some of the characters that he'd

known in Harkness over the years and some of the funny stories that had occurred in

the early pioneering days. Jock listened intently, laughing out loud on several

occasions about the comical situations that had arisen. Gandy now sensed that Jock

was in the mood to laugh at anything that contained some mirth. But Gandy was

taking no chances, he hit him with his best joke. “Now Jock I remember the great

drought that occurred back in the sixties. One day during that time I was out visiting

Jeramiah Harkness on his farm. It was a particularly hot day and one of his workman

collapsed from the heat, and do you know what Jock? it took three buckets of dust to

revive him.” Well that was it for Jock, he started belly-laughing and couldn't stop, he

was rocking backwards and forwards as his whole body convulsed with laughter. Just

as Jock laughed his loudest Gandy lunged forward and whipped his false teeth right

out of his mouth. Jock was speechless, both metaphorically and literally, as the

sounds coming from his mouth didn't form into any recognisable words.

Gandy locked Jock's teeth away in his drawer. The demeanour of the money-lender

was now quite scowling. “You're behind on your payments, only when you catch up

will you get your teeth back.” As Jock tried to speak he was making gestures with his

arms, but very little of what he said was coherent. Gandy walked to his door, opened

it and barked at Jock, “Out of here or I'll get the law on to you Hanlon.” Jock meekly

went through the doorway, out on to the porch and down the two steps onto the street.

What else could he do? Jock heard the door slam behind him.

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Jock was a shattered man. He felt that enraged by what had just occurred and at the

same time so very depressed. As he made his way slowly down the main street his

feet were dragging in the red dirt. He tried to whistle to ease the way he felt but alas

no sound came out, no teeth to make the sound. He accidentally stepped in some

fresh bullock droppings but didn't seem to notice. His head was hanging low seeming

unaware of the locals as they said hello to him. Or maybe he wasn't recognising them

as he didn't want to expose his now empty mouth by returning their greeting. Jock

finally looked up and realising he had already passed the Harkness Royal Oak, turned

around and walked the short distance back to the pub. He mounted the verandah and

went inside.

Bandy Anderson had just finished for the day. As was his usual habit, after locking

up his premises, he headed for the Harkness Royal Oak for some conversation and a

couple of beers. He also thought he might see Jock there and after a couple of drinks

he thought he might invite him for an evening meal. Bandy was still doing well for

himself, unlike everyone else in the town, as people still kept dying. He wanted to

shout Jock a nice meal to ease the hard times for him.

When Bandy came through the swinging doors of the pub he immediately saw his

good friend. He could tell that Jock was quite inebriated as he sought support from a

bar-room pole to keep himself steady on his feet. Bandy walked over and said,

Gidday Jock.” As the Scotsman lifted his head to say hello Bandy immediately

noticed Jock's teeth were missing. Because of the alcoholic stupor Jock was in it took

quite a while for the undertaker to get the full story of the missing teeth and how

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they'd met their fate.

Bandy was outraged by what Basil Gandy had done to his good friend. How could

someone be so mean spirited to do what the money-lender had done. When times

turned hard in Harkness most people tried to support each other. The local businesses

also took that approach. But not Basil Gandy. Bandy Anderson's blood was boiling.

The undertaker left Jock and walked over to the bartender and immediately hired one

of the larger back rooms. The bartender gave Bandy a key and then he helped Jock

into the room. He told the Scotsman to wait right there. It was about fifteen minutes

before he returned with a group of his and Jock's friends. Each person that came into

the room was sworn to secrecy as to the discussion that was about to take place.

Like Bandy the group of friends were appalled at the treatment handed out to Jock

by the money-lender. They were all there to discuss ideas of what they could do to get

even with Gandy. The ideas were not easily found but eventually after a couple of

hours a plan finally emerged.

The next morning some very sad news spread around Harkness. Popular Scotsman

Jock Hanlon had passed away. According to Doc Gilmore the cause of death was

quite tragic. Jock Hanlon had choked to death on some unchewed meat. With St.

Peter he now would stay.

Just on dusk, the same day, a funeral procession came slowly down the main street.

Jock's casket sat on top of Darc Shepherd's bullock wagon. They passed the Harkness

Royal Oak and the patrons all filed outside to stand silently in the street to show their

respects for the departed.

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As the yoked team of bullocks passed by Gandy's office he could be seen with his

hat removed and his head slightly bowed standing on his porch. He had a strange

look on his face. One could not tell if it was a half-smirk or a look of some kind of

regret or one of complete disdain for the whole proceedings. The funeral procession

slowly wound out of town headed towards the cemetery situated on a slight hill

overlooking the town.

It was Gandy's normal practice each day to stop work at five thirty in the afternoon,

then go to one of the three eating houses in Harkness to have his evening meal. He

would then return to his office to do some paper work, before heading home around

9:00 pm. This night was no different.

It was a few minutes before 8:00 pm and Gandy, now back from his evening meal,

was seated at his mahogany desk. It was dark outside and very quiet, except for the

muffled noise that always came from the Harkness Royal Oak each night.

Gandy heard a noise outside on his porch, but thought nothing of it, thinking it was

probably just another stray mongrel dog crossing it. But as he was about to put his

head back down to concentrate on the paperwork in front of him he saw his doorknob

turning. How dare they thought Gandy. Everyone in town knew that you always had

to knock on the money-lender's door and be given permission to enter. His door was

now slowly opening and in the darkness that rushed in from the outside he could just

make out a figure standing in his doorway. Gandy's gaze was now transfixed on the

shadowy figure. “I've come for my teeth,” was all this ghostly grey and white figure

said as it took slow, stilted steps towards Gandy's desk. A shaft of fear shot up

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Gandy's spine, causing the hairs on the money-lender's neck and head to stand bolt

upright. Gandy was frozen to the spot, except for his mouth which was now a yawn-

like chasm taking up much of his face. In the dim light from his desk candle he could

now see that it was Jock Hanlon returned from the grave. Jock's arms, now stretched

forward and he again repeated, “I've come for my teeth.” Gandy was trying to get his

legs to work but nothing was happening as yet. He managed to get both his hands to

one corner of the desk and at his third attempt finally pulled himself to his feet. He let

out the most blood-curdling scream Harkness had ever heard as he shot around the

side of the desk where Jock wasn't and headed straight for the door. He raced through his doorway and knocked a mongrel dog that had been dozing, but had the misfortune to sit up when it heard all the commotion, about ten feet through the air. Jeb McGraw had just returned to town and was about to water his mule at one of the troughs in Harkness when Gandy blinded by fear and having taken on the strength of a madman knocked Jeb's mule clean over. The money-lender bolted through the water trough, again letting out a piercing scream that rivalled the first one as he disappeared down the main street. But the streets of Harkness were still alive for the next thirty seconds, with a yelping mongrel dog, a bellowing mule, and the cursing of Jeb McGraw.

Across the street there were eight people sitting in the shadows of the verandah

pub, they had all seen Gandy fly out of his office and the mayhem that followed. The

same group of friends that had joined Bandy and Jock in the back room of the pub the

night before They started making their way towards Gandy's office just as Jock

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emerged. As the friends came closer Jock jumped off the verandah. He had retrieved

his teeth from the money-lender's drawer and put them back in his mouth. He had a smile on his face as wide as the Macquarie River in flood. He bowed from the waist and with an exaggerated flourish of his left arm across his body said, “I think it's time we had a beer.” Everybody grinned, some were still laughing, but no one was smiling as broadly as Jock. They all headed towards the Harkness Royal Oak, all except for Jeb McGraw, who was still trying to figure out what had just happened. He was also still trying to pacify his poor mule, although its bellowing was now at a lower decibel than before.

When the group got back to the Harkness Royal Oak they started celebrating.

Everyone wanted to know what the celebration was about, so the story was

eventually told to all the patrons in the pub that night. Although with so many people

telling the story some of the facts did become a little blurred.

As for Gandy, he raced for his house in the posher part of town. Once inside he

locked all the doors and windows and when he finally went to bed he slept with a

shotgun by his side. But he really wasn't sure what effect a gun would have on a

ghost anyway. Gandy's office was closed for the next week, the money-lender not

game to venture out from the sanctuary of his own home. Eventually he had to come

out for food and when he did everyone had the biggest grin on their face when they

saw or greeted him. He couldn't figure out why but when he passed Harkness Feed

and Seed and saw Jock Hanlon loading a wagon, apart from a brief moment of horror,

it suddenly dawned on him. It had all been a put on, a very elaborate put on.

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Gandy was never quite the same after that night, his superiority and bravado had

been dimmed substantially. He still operated his money lending business but he never

again was that self assured business man around town that everyone knew before the

night Jock Hanlon returned from the grave.

This story has been told in the years since then to strangers that' ve come to town,

sometimes things have been exaggerated a little as the tale was slowly unwound, but

there's an old guy that now sits on the verandah of Harkness Feed and Seed in his

rocking chair. He knows the truth, he's still got that smile, he will carry it till the day

he dies.

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Author Notes

My name is John Williams and I live in Australia. This is a story about some of the

funny things that can occur when you live in a country farming town set in the 1880s.

Country people live a different life-style to city folk and tend to look at life with a

slightly contrasting view. With all the open spaces and animals around it tends to

offer up unusual happenings, things that would just not occur in a city. Putting The

Bite On The Money Lender is one of those stories.

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