OUT OF ME HEAD

There was no reason for Clive to call Phillip dead because he was called Phillip. He had been called Phillip for a considerable amount of time, even though Phillip had in fact passed away right in front of Edna’s eyeballs only three months earlier.

As a child Phillip had been personally affected by life, something that one day would be the death of him, (which of course it was).

Looking back on it all, Edna saw her arse pass largely behind her and the figure in the haze filled fart reminded her that it’s better to keep moving forward, or the stigma of self- flatulence would stick like a toffee to a soft palette.

It was at this point in Edna’s life that her investment in stocks took a turn for the better, much to the chagrin of her Siamese Step-twin, Victor.

“It’s only gravy – biatch!”

He’d shout from his little swelling just above her right niphle. A place that he’d become quite attached to; although he did secretly admire the sprawling condo that hung from her twat.

In spite of this a vote was held and Victor won the right to cry from Edna’s left earhole every other Thursday. This he did with great gusto. Unfortunately the erosion gouged a large gully down Edna’s cheek, causing her to smirk awkwardly.

An operation to correct the irksome feature was frowned upon. But this sent out mixed signals and Edna ended up having both her nostrils amputated. Still, she was able to put on a brave face and smile to the end. Something Victor could never do, especially after Edna was cremated.

THE END

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