Oratio est argentum, silentium est aureum

“Speech is silver, silence is golden,” is a well-known proverb extolling the value of silence. Silence is awkward, however; and people often rush to fill it, sometimes making inappropriate or unnecessary comments they later regret. We’ve all learned the hard way that there some situations when it’s best to keep silent.

Here are a few that come to mind:

Gossiping: Gossip creates a mistrustful person, and nothing good comes from it. Don’t participate. Be silent.

Complaining: Complaining feels good sometimes, but overly complaining feeds negative energy that focuses on the problem rather than a solution. Silence restores balance and mindfulness, creating peace of mind.

Divulging a secret: Divulging a secret is tempting, but it makes one untrustworthy. More often than not, it backfires. Again, don’t participate. Be silent.

Irrationally expressing anger: Anger is a totally healthy emotion that everyone feels. What’s not healthy is acting or speaking out of irrational anger. Intense anger creates a blinding effect, causing people to either shut down or prepare to fight. Silencing one’s mind and cooling down diminishes the anger and is healthier for those involved.

Not knowing the answer: It’s okay to not know things, but sometimes we let our ego take hold compelling us to speak from a place of unknowing weakness. Doing so misleads, making one look arrogant or even stupid. Cast aside the ego saying, “I don’t know enough to answer.” Then be silent. Silence opens the door for others to share their knowledge.

One-upping other people: It’s okay to share your stories and perspective but making it a competition isn’t. Instead, deliver the information in a way that doesn’t invalidate another person. Better yet, be silent. Let another person have the limelight.

Many of us (me included) have forgotten when to be silent. We allow the endless noise and chatter to distract us. I had to learn to foster the ability to be silent. It’s one the greatest gifts I’ve given myself. Silence offered opportunities for self-reflection and daydreaming; it gave me time to turn down the inner noise and increase my awareness of what mattered most to me.

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