more than second chances

“More Than Second Chances”

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Who gives us more chances than our mothers after many many chances i was able to quit drinking and drugs. The court didn’t care that i had a problem but my parents did and it was through their prayers and help that I am here today with 21 days sober. the 7 arrests related to alcohol the court was pretty close to giving up on me but not my parents they gave me chance after chance. I don’t know how to thank them enough.

You see with us all we are human and some bad habits suck you in and leave you so bent and broken that its difficult. I heard it best by I dug the hole the first thing to do is get out and try not to fall back into the pit once you’ve made it out. Honestly i had a problem it was drugs coke and drinking then more drugs and more drinking. I must a quit so many times with crack but i just kept going back it was crazy my body seemed to follow its own path irregardless with how much i wanted to change. then with that first hit forget it. it was on from then till the money was gone smoked up or stolen.

Well that was a quick overview but i loved drugs really did. they got me so depressed i would routinely sleep as much as possible numerous times I slept till 3:00 pm when i had to work at four. Now my parents knew i was into something. I was a basket case even though i only worked 40 hours but i did walk to work a lot. but when i was borrowing money from them with no way to pay back they started to get worried. They knew something was wrong and they were right. I’d get paid on a Friday and be broke on a Saturday and I actually had to go out there and beg for money for two weeks. I never went hungry though that’s when I fell in love with Framingham, Massachusetts. There are so many things there to help those in active addiction or recovery.

So how did it start. Ill spare the repetition and tell you about the last time I got out of jail. I started out 4 years sober, this included incarcerated and as a free man. but then I fell back into it. I was drinking and passing out or even worse blacking out and not remembering what I did. This is what annoyed me the most the not knowing. I hated those phone calls saying, “Dude you were so messed up you know what you did…” It was always followed by something I wish I hadn’t heard. or for that matter hadn’t done either.

Here is a small list of things I did while drunk set fire to bed arm coffee maker and sheets and blankets. I pissed on the stove my neighbors door and floormat and this kids sneakers and off the downstairs porch. One of the craziest things was trying to put a metal ashtray in the microwave shoulda died but my friend was there to stop me.

speaking of friends I’ve had some good ones and some really, really bad ones. Some of them would just call late at night to see if I could get drugs or to hang out. One in particular used to break in while I was sleeping and party like he lived there. Some wouldn’t leave. My life was in shambles and luckily I had family I could turn to in my time of need. Take this as a lesson younger folk. Don’t burn your bridges for you never know when you might need a helping hand and my father’s advice if you go through this life with 3 good true friends consider yourself lucky.

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