MISTAKES...

"you think I don't think about you?" She said.
" I know you don't, you never wanted to hang out again and you never called me back, not even a text from you for a month until I texted you." I said with a frustrated tone.
"you're the one who broke it off, and you expect me to just be friends with you after the things I said and did? Be friends with the girl I loved?(don't say it) Fuck you!* I don't deserve that kind of treatment, that demotion, that downgrade, that disrespect!, I wanted to be with you and you didn't anymore, yet for some reason you still want me around? *Fuck off bitch!" I said, now venting again.
"I asked you about that before, and you said you weren't bothered." she implied
" I didn't want to make it a bigger deal, I thought I'd get over it after a few months, and it shot me back." I said defeatedly.
"Ok, I've already apologized and so did you, we forgave each other, I thought everything was good between us, but I guess not, so fine lets not stay friends anymore, don't try to contact me again, and if I ever see you walking in public don't say "hi" to me because I won't respond and/or respect you anymore, is that clear?" I can hear the anger in her voice, I pity her. I've never thought I could feel someone's emotions seeping through the phone.
"It's clear bitch."* I hung up the phone, that was the end of our playdate.
The tears were getting dry and sticky, the rush had mostly dissipated and I was all alone again. At times like this, as an adult, I would be heading to the nearest bar getting piss drunk while conversing with friends or meeting women to fuck*, but I wasn't old enough to do any of that so I had spent good money for an eighth of flower that I bought a couple weeks ago, it smelled so refreshing, like happiness in a box.
I'm too tensed up, I need to feel like a winner again, to make me want to do dangerous shit like saying "hi" to my ex
"ha-ha", I chucked softly.
"Oh, how did I ever get a woman like her to be with me, she was so pretty and so polite, well... "was" polite to me."
The harsh-hot smoke was burning my throat, making my mouth very dry. I kept inhaling and exhaling, inhaling, exhaling, inhaling, exhaling. After an hour, I couldn't finish off the eighth unfortunately, after a few hours pass, I came back to reality-where my body was feeling cold, I was abandoned while fighting the urge to cry again.
"Why did I act like that? I thought men were supposed to be the rational ones, I was a woman in that fucking* conversation." I pondered.
"The things I said, were they necessary? Was it justified?" I wonder, while my thoughts are racing.
"It doesn't matter at this point, what's done is done, there is one good thing that came out of that fucking hellhole."
"She'll definitely stay away from assholes like me, HAHAHA." I laugh hysterically.

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