Letters To God
Her tears were written in the form of letters, her pain became the blood stains that where splattered across each hand written letter. Every word made it's own sound for as she began to write through the stillness of the night you could hear the pitter, patter of every tear drop that fell unto every letter. Lend me an ear, she cried unto the Lord, for I am here hoping you will stop and hear all that my heart need you too hear. ' Jesus she cried, ' A virtious woman needs an ear, for I can no longer wait, share or prepare for a man who loves to lie, steal, manipulate and cheat.'
Dear God,
Listen to my prayer I hope you are at home, I have been trying to reach you but it appears you are ever so busy saving the world. I was wondering if you can spend a little time with me, I have tried to dial your number but I can't seem to get through. You see father, I am broken and my cup is over flowing with tears day and night my pillows are soaked and my fears consume me.
Nine years 'Jehovah Nisi' the lord my banner, I gave to a man who never loved me gave to him the river of my youth bore two beautiful girls for him stood by him, believed in him, shielded him and loved him but our covenant meant nothing to him. I was the ground he walked on the dust he swept and the rubbish he disposed of once the contents had lost its flavour and value. Many may say, I am a fool but believe me when I say, "love is blind".
A marriage was meant to be forever a vow was meant to be fulfilled and a family was meant to be treasured however in this case neither prevailed so I ask God were have I gone wrong. A faithful wife, a loyal companion yet it was not enough.
A betrayal so poisonous that not even your worst enemy you will cast these burdens upon. A cross so heavy, sorrow so deep, a shame so sinister that only the gates of heaven can conceal.
A husband I trusted, a friend I respected, no one knows my pain and now the deceit yet to be conceived and the sin yet to be born, a curse, a betrayal soon to bind our children to an eternity of great darkness.
This is my letter, this is my story these are my sorrows. I cannot tell a lie, I am weak, I am not strong, I am faint, I am afraid, I am lost, and I am weary. My words, my prayers are not of vain reputations there are the tales of a woman crying out in agony.
I am angry yet hurt upon my pillow I lay consume by fear and covered in tears gentle saviour lend me an ear. Let your words guide me; let your love protect me, save me Lord from myself. I once read that vengeance is yours so father fight for me plead my cause deliver me be my rock, refuge, redeemer, helper and guide. For this battle are not mines to fight.
I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God; I believe that the blood of Jesus saves; I believe that God loves me and that I am a child of God and if God is for me who can be against me. Victory will be mines this battle is won, I am an overcomer, I am a conqueror in Christ Jesus all things are possible. In Jesus name, there is great power. I shall be successful, I shall achieve and I shall endure I will wait on the lord.
Isaiah 49:25
"Thus, said the lord, even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away, and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered: for I will contend with him that contended with thee and I will save thy children."
Day Two.
Dear God,
I look around and I see the beauty you have created but today, I don’t feel beautiful. I feel battered and wounded, broken and neglected, lost and confused. 'Elohim', the creator, ‘why, has the light faded from my eyes’.
Hebrews 12:6
"Because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son."
Day Three.
Dear God,
How long must I mourn, unto thee I pray? Why does Satan persecute me, why is my soul dragged across the battlefield? Why are my enemies rejoicing at my sorrows? Why Lord are my afflictions so great.
How long 'Jehovah Rohi' the Lord is my shepherd, how long before you come to rescue me; I cannot carry this cross on my own these burdens are too heavy and my feet are weary.
2 Corinthians vs. 4: 8, 9
“We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed-”
Day Four.
Dear God,
Today I took a stroll and all I saw was couples, babies being conceive, fathers with their children playing happily. The more I walked, I had observed two little girls playing on their own, I wanted to stop awhile and give a smile but my eyes were to fill with my sorrow so many questions yet no answers can you hear me.
Father if I have offended thee, forgive me; I know now I was not that virtuous wife you intended me to be. There were times my words were bitter and cold in my pain my heart was hardened and I was blinded by wrath. Loneliness blinded me darkness covered me and the enemy consumed me have mercy upon me for I had not heard or hearken to the voice of my lord.
Galatians 2:20
"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless, I live; yet not I, but Christ lived in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."
Day Five.
Dear God,
Today I am angry I thought, I will let you know how I feel, only you can understand because you alone hold the key to my heart.
I want to scream no I really want to shout how I want others to know of my pain, my anger, my afflictions people say they understand, do they God, Do they.
I want them to acknowledge the actions of the wicked; I need for them to understand what their selfish deeds have done. How could lust understand, how could Jezebel even begin to know the damage her selfish intentions have done.
Jezebel has no love she only fulfills her own desires, she knows no fear, she considers no one, she is greedy. This spirit steals, lies, deceives and destroys she knows, she is no queen yet she could take possession of my husband’s soul he allowed Satan to walked right in.
My life their requested my soul their wanted but Jesus came down and delivered me.
Colossians 1:13
"He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son."
Day Six.
Dear God,
My husband had grown to despise me his heart has hardened and his words are cold and bitter.
He speaks with no love in his heart. When he looks at me I see a man with great regret, as though he wishes we weren’t an item.
Jezebel has done me wrong she has stolen my husband’s heart and cast his family out to sea.
Jezebel you demon, you witch I call unto my God to reveal you for who you truly are for you Jezebel are no queen.
You are the spirit that takes men souls to death.
You steal, you lie, you deceive, you seduce.
Jezebel you are lust itself, you are evil and by the blood of Jesus, I bind you and declare that the holy ghosts’ fire cast you into the pits of hell where you belong.
Your feet shall be chained and shackles will be place upon your neck and mankind shall have no mercy upon you they shall rejoice at your defeat.
Romans 8:38-39
"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Day Seven.
Dear God,
My words are drowning with sorrow I feel as though you are ignoring me. Why is my pillows drench with tears? I am in despair and the enemy keeps on torturing me? He has said, the cane is yours to carry; I pray these troubles go away. Jehovah Rapha heal me, you are the Lord that heals, heal my wounds cover my scares and protect my heart from the snares and wiles of the enemy.
Revelation 21:4
"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall
Be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."
Day Eight.
Dear God,
I am down on my knees I have a complaint, why has the a strange woman conceive forgive my thoughts for there are not in according to your will. My request is not pleasing for I am in pain deliver me from the hands of the enemy and its weapon Jezebel today my King take control.
Your word said, if a man takes a wife he has found a good thing, let me be that good thing that my husband has found. Open his eyes and his heart Lord and heal his wounds and restore our marriage let peace sit among us and rekindle our love.
Mark 10 vs. 11:12.
Said, "Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committed adultery against her and a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committed adultery."
Father today, I ask that you cover my marriage with the blood of Jesus. I bind Satan and his demons from planning to destruction against my husband, our marriage, children and home.
I declare and decree that every arrow that Satan has sent forth to separate and divide my husband and I will be destroyed and come to nought by the Holy Ghost’s fire.
I declare and decree that the strange woman will grow tired and weary of my husband and no longer would she have any use for him.
I declare and decree that divorce shall not have its place over me nor my children or children's generation or my husband life.
By the blood of Jesus, I close the doorways of separation, divorce, suicide, loneliness and depression from all our lives.
We are no longer subjects or subject to obey the laws of the land. Our God is the lord Jesus Christ and through his blood we are set free.
I decree and declare that Satan has no authority over us. By the blood of Jesus, we have authority over Satan and his demons and I say to you Satan get behind me in Jesus name.
I lose unity, peace, love, marriage, success, fruitfulness, spiritual growth, patience, protection, meekness and prosperity into my family’s life.
Proverbs 12:4
"A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."
Day Nine.
Dear God,
Weary am I, the whole world is upon my shoulders these burdens I carry are not small. Today the enemy has a hold of me my afflictions are great. You promised you won’t desert me yet you stand afar off have I called but you did not answer. Father why am I wearing these stripes? Why are my prayers in vain? I cry to thee but you seem as though you have left me. Jehovah Rapha, the lord of peace, pour your love and mercy over me.
John 16:33
"These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world."
Day Ten.
Dear God,
Sometimes I sit and I wonder if you ever had a purpose or a plan for me. It appears life is always rebelling against me I am forever going around in circles. Nothing is ever easy I work ten or fifty times harder than the ordinary man.
Forgive me, as for today I want to quit, I am tired, burnt out and faint. I believe faith has passed me by so pardon my tears and the words I speak. As I walk through the valley of darkness my enemy stalks me. He hides in the smallest of cracks and waits to devour me sweet Saviour come rescue me restore, rebuild and make me new for thy namesake.
Psalm 25:2-3-6
"In you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies’ triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame that are treacherous without excuse. Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Saviour, and my hope is in you all day long. 6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old."
Day Eleven.
Dear God,
Every day I hunger and thirst for you I long to sit with you to listen to your words to wait for your reply. If you are not too busy I was wondering if we can talk awhile, I would like to tell you about my day.
I would like to show you what I have learnt it may please you; I have discovered that all things through Christ are possible. I can see clearly now and today, I have observed in my laughter that my tears are being wiped away and even though the scares are still there the pain is no longer controlling me.
You were right when you said; this sorrow is just for a while. I need to testify, I need to tell of this tale, I need to share, and I need for the world to hear. Every hour, every second, I read, I worship, I praise, I know, I am growing stronger and drawing closer to thee. For in you, I have found a love that fulfills my emptiness and rebuilds my life I know now only you are able to restore and make all things new.
Thank you for being the Miracle man, the doctor that saved me, the friend that carried me, the lover that held me, the comforter that cradled me and the father that guides me to the end. I will testify, I will write of your love and I will speak of your loyalty.
Strangers will read about you, they will hear of your novel, they will speak about your miracles and from nation to nation a tale would be told about the woman who overcame death and was made whole through her Saviour.
This letter I write, I write with love and great admiration to you my Saviour I owe my life. These words that are inscribe, these poems I create is because of you 'thank you’, for giving me a reason, a purpose to life and for blessing me with a new beginning.
'Yahshua' you are the reason, why I am still living,' thank you' for opening my eyes to the things I could not see and my ears to the words I refuse to hear. Teach me from this day onwards to listen to your words and give me the strength I need to stay on the path that pleased thee. Let not my heart neither be hardened nor let the things I see take me away from thee.
These are my prayers there is my words take them to the cross of Calvary to the footstool of my father leave them by his side whisper to his ear. 'These are the tears and the words of a woman in great despair'.
Proverbs 8:17 "I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me."
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