Lamentations of the Periwinkle Pole
This piece was written by a much younger version of myself about a decade ago (2013) and was my first short story (in the format of a play). I hope to eventually return to writing more things like this in the coming future. I hope you all enjoy.
In the late afternoon at the Lake, factory worker Arbol takes a holiday to go fishing. The sun is just about to set, and the lake is at a very calm tide. The silhouette of a man on a boat is in the background, and a flock of geese are flying high in the velvety tangerine sky. Arbol is seen rowing his boat from left stage to center stage.
Arbol: Ah, the setting sun is a slothful stage, setting so slowly, yet gone in a flash. [He reaches for his fishing pole under his seat] Yes indeed this fleeting sun is a set to see, gone in a flash, one can hardly catch a glimpse of it. [He rises] As a matter of fact one should capture a beautiful set such as this. [He reaches for his camera underneath his seat, but instead grabs his fishing pole] Drat this dank lake, drowning me in its devilish luck! It seems I place my paws on this periwinkle pole! [He reaches once again in search of his camera, and takes out his camera] Now why in the world did I need this? The sun shall be here tomorrow, I can take another picture then. Yes I shall take the picture tomorrow, now I must fish. [He throws the camera overboard with all of his might, as he puts his right hand to his ear, prompting to listen for the splash of the camera hitting the water]
A Silhouetted Figure is seen in the horizon, calling out to Arbol
Silhouetted Figure: [Puts his hand over his mouth, showing that he is shouting from a distance.] Hold on there mister! It seems you misplaced your camera! I sure hope you have photos, every picture is different, no matter how similar the subject!
Arbol: [Slaps his hand onto his forehead.] My goodness you’re right! Everything is different even if it is the same! Would that mean everything is the same even if it is different?! [Puts his index finger between his nose and upper lip] Say for instance a child buys a toy. The toy is mass produced throughout the country, but it is still the child’s toy! However if the child breaks the toy, he would cry in despair! Whereas if it was broke in the store, the child could care less!
Silhouetted Figure: Sir, why in the world would a child care for a toy?! The mother could just purchase another!
Arbol: Bah! The child is from a broken home, the mother has no money to buy the toy in the first place!
Silhouetted Figure: Well then how in the world did the child get the money to buy the toy?!
Arbol: He rented it!
Silhouetted Figure: A child cannot rent a toy with no money!
Arbol: My goodness sir, the boy stole it! Did you not hear what I said earlier?! [Shakes his head in disbelief]
Silhouetted Figure: [Throws hands in the air] Dearest me, you said the boy rented it!
Arbol: [Pointing at the figure] I said no such thing!
Silhouetted Figure: Did so!
Arbol: Did not!
Silhouetted Figure: Did not!
Arbol: Did so!
Silhouetted Figure: AH-HA! You admitted it!
Arbol: [Shakes head] You Bugs-Bunnied me! My good man leave me to my fishing! I came to this lake to escape people of your sort! Argumentative, stubborn, and somber!
Silhouetted Figure: [Waves his right arm] Bah you’re a fool! [Turns around to resume his rowing and disappears in the horizon]
Arbol: That man is an example of the very reason why I took the evening off! People always badgering me and telling me I am wrong. Why can’t I just have my moment? Is it that much of a bother to ask? I do not think so; in fact I believe it is my time to have a share of glory. [Picks up his fishing rod and casts it into the water] About time I get some peace and quiet. All day and night the raccoons dine about in my fireplace at home, with their pot pies and insatiable appetites. The lot of them steals my food and pays not a penny. The very talk of such food makes me ravenous with hunger.
[The pole twitches]
Arbol: My goodness what a fighter! He twitches and spasms like a deranged man soaked in blood! He will make a feast indeed! [Pulls on the pole, reeling in the Red-finned Spriteslicker]
Red-finned Spriteslicker: [Flops and gasps for air, screaming] Water! Water! Water!
Arbol: No need for such a silly thing, you are swimming in a sea of air! Much cleaner than that murk you swam in.
Red-finned Spriteslicker: Hmm… Right you are. It about time I shed my gills and grew my wings. However it will take nine moons and a cloudy day to do that.
Arbol: Well allow me to put that wish to action!
Red-finned Spriteslicker: Sir, you cannot move the moon! Have you forgotten you are a human?! For only a God can move the moon at will!
Arbol: Then a God I shall become! How may a man transcend the ordinary, by exceeding regular expectations?! No, that has been done before. [Puts index finger on the spot between his nose and upper lip]
Red-finned Spriteslicker: Perhaps by becoming one with the world?
Arbol: Shall I plant a tree on my back or a shrub on my foot?
Red-finned Spriteslicker: Dearest me you are an odd fellow, yet much like me. Is it possible we have met someplace before?
Arbol: I do not believe so; I have never met a fellow such as you before.
Red-finned Spriteslicker: Well there is a story behind every meeting, and we are writing ours as we speak. Care to make it a meeting to remember?
Arbol: How so?
Red-finned Spriteslicker: [Screeches in an unearthly manner] I am sure you will remember our greeting for the years you live. Sadly I must go; I must attend to my wife.
Arbol: Farewell! [Waves goodbye]
[The Red-finned Spriteslicker jumps back in the water]
Arbol: What a charismatic species of fish! [Lays back to relax] I do believe a nice nap is in order.
[Arbol attempts to slowly drift asleep, when suddenly the rod jerks]
Arbol: [Opens his eyes in disappointment] A day of fishing and this is what I get, fish. Can’t a man relax?! I wish to escape and relax while fishing on the open water, and what do I get? Relaxation while fishing on the open water! [Crosses arms in dissatisfaction, and eyes the fishing pole with an unwelcoming look] Well no longer will I conform to this reoccurring disturbance of my fishing. Eventually this pretentious fish will unhook itself and free itself, and I will have less fish. Wait… [Puts hand on face in a thinking manner] I want that fish! [Dives to the fishing pole and grabs the grip, pulling the reel towards him] Well I’ll be! It’s a… a…. uh-
Purple-lipped Muckmolder: ‘Ey mate leave me alone! All I came around here for a worm, and I find a worm on a hook! Good lord I was so disappointed I saw that worm. Ah where are my manners? I am a Purple-lipped Muckmolder, pleased to meet your acquaintance, er..?
Arbol: By any chance are you related to that red fish?
Purple-lipped Muckmolder: Of course not! Those red fish are all over the place, going on about philosophy and the meaning of being a living being. All I need is a good bottle of ale and a sunset to stare at. Do you hear me?
Arbol: I too feel like a good bottle of whisky now and again, and a sunset is one of the most beautiful things for a man to see.
Purple-lipped Muckmolder: Indeed it is my good sir! As a matter of fact, [reaches into the boat’s deck to pull out a bottle of rum] let’s have a drink.
Arbol: [Reaches behind him to retrieve two glasses] Sounds like a plan, but you are a fish. Won’t you die if you introduce alcohol to your digestive system?
Purple-lipped Muckmolder: Well I have had many drinks in my time, what’s one more? [Reaches for the glass and pours the rum into the bottle] Ah what a smell, what a smell! The aroma of aged spirits sooths my nerves.
Arbol: It does to me as well. I feel all you need is a bottle of brandy and the world is at peace for me. [Grabs bottle from the fish and pours his own glass]
Purple-lipped Muckmolder: Right you are! [Sips the rum, and suddenly chokes on it]
Arbol: What is wrong?!
Purple-lipped Muckmolder: [While gargling on the rum.] You blasted idiot! Who would think of feeding fish rum?! You have killed me you insolent fool!
Arbol: [In a panicked state.] You said you have had many drinks in your time!
Purple-lipped Muckmolder: [While flopping on the boat.] Does that mean that you give me more?! If a mother wants another child does that mean she gets one?! You blasted fool! [Lays still and dies in the boat]
Arbol: My word… [Picks up the corpse of the deceased fish, and tosses it into the lake.] What a sad story this will be. I must set my head straight. [Curls into a cradled fetal position]
[The lake splashes, and a fish lands into the boat]
Arbol: [Jumps in surprise.] Goodness! Another fish! Who might you be?
[The fish flops and flails, screaming incomprehensible phrases.]
Silver-scaled Flipflopper: Air! Air! Fish need air to breathe! [Inhales deeply] My goodness what use is this boat?! I need water! Water!
Arbol: What the hell are you doing?! What are you?
Silver-scaled Flipflopper: [Calmly recollects himself.] My apologies, I am a Silver-scaled Flipflopper, the most graceful swimmer in all the lake. I am known to trip very often underwater.
Arbol: Well, pleased to meet you. I apologize not knowing your species, for I am a novice fisherman.
Silver-scaled Flipflopper: It is quite alright my good man! Now if you don’t mind I have a few things to ask.
Arbol: Well this is quite the honor, [claps his hands once] all right, let’s have it.
Silver-scaled Flipflopper: What is there to see on the surface? Are there purple aromas in the air? Languages to forget? Symbols of nothingness?
Arbol: Sir the surface is a grand place to live. We have orange plains of mountains and snowcapped pastures! The sights smell so individual, and the people! Oh the people are always so two-faced it is a wonder on how the human race got this advanced!
Silver-scaled Flipflopper: My my… Shall I show you what I have seen in the world of water? As a token of my appreciation.
Arbol: I would be delighted!
Silver-scaled Flipflopper: [Puts his fin to his eyeball and gouges it out, screaming in agony] Here my dear sir, everything I have seen, you shall see.
Arbol: [Takes the eye.] What a lovely gesture. However I must leave soon, the moon is rising, and I wish not the police to make a fuss of my appearance.
Silver-scaled Flipflopper: Ta-Ta! [Pushes Arbol off the boat and rows away, humming the tune of Vale Decem and rows offstage]
Arbol: [Rises to the surface and inhales] My, the fish stole the boat. [Pauses] My pole! My periwinkle pole! Blasted fish stole my pole! What a cannibalistic type those fish are. Yet… I eat fish. Does that mean I am a fish as well? I believe it does! [Stares at his hands] These are my fins, with which I shall swim home.
[Arbol dives down into the lake, with which a bottle floats to the surface. A mix of a fin and a hand reach for the bottle and continue to descend to the bottom of the Lake.]
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