It was the day before Christmas and she stood in the middle of the small, unfurnished efficiency and surveyed her new home. She eyed the entire place; from the cracked, slightly peeled ceiling and walls to the rough, bare wood floors. There was a small closet, a bathroom that was a little larger and against one wall was a mini refrigerator with a shelf beside it, upon which sat...a hot plate. On another wall, there was a small window and, in a corner stood a medium sized, sparsely decorated Christmas tree. Under its branches was a lit, nativity scene. She was grateful for it all.
She knelt and unrolled her bed laying aside her clothes that happened to be in it; a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. As she walked towards the window, she fleetingly thought of the friends she had left behind. She smiled to herself because to them her present abode would not even be considered meager. This Christmas there would be no numerous parties for her to attend...no expensive presents to exchange and she didn’t miss any of it.
Was it only three days ago, she mused to herself, that she had discovered how very poor she had been all her life? She had never known the wealth that was now hers. In all her nineteen years of living she was under the impression that she had the means and money to buy everything and anything she wanted or would ever need. It never occurred to her that there was something else...a gift...which was priceless and all the money in the world could not purchase it! She had never known that such a gift was entirely free and belonged to her, just for the asking.
She stood at the window and watched fading rays of light fight a losing battle against a methodically encroaching dark blue sky. Suddenly, eyes...filled with marked disdain, appeared. She gasped out loud swallowing the lump in her throat, as hurtful words echoed in her ear, and she relived the pain that she had experienced just hours before.
Her parents had just returned from a trip to ‘somewhere’…just for the Holidays. Their large, spacious home was bright, inside and out, with bright, festive decor and a large Christmas tree with many wrapped, costly presents beneath it stood near the fireplace. There was nothing new about any of it, it happened every year. However, there was something new with her...something very different; she, for the first time in so long, miraculously, was not flying...high on one thing or the other. She had thought of writing a note for her parents and leaving before they arrived, but then decided that she wanted to at least try to talk to them. They were her mother and father, after all, and she loved them very much. Perhaps she could get them to listen to her when she explained what had happened to her...and why she had to go.
"Follow Jesus?!?" Her mother walked towards her...her flashing eyes taking her in from head to foot. "You look different... are you spaced out?!?" She looked back over her shoulder at her husband and giggled gleefully, "She’s high!"
"She sure is,” her father responded with a mischievous expression, “where’d you get it? C’mon and tell us, we sure could use some of that."
"Go upstairs and sleep it off, sweetie," her mother said, looking at her with a wide, condoning grin.
"I am not high," she responded, inching towards the door where her small duffel bag sat, "I’ve just had enough of this kind of living. There is a better way...better for me," she looked at them compassionately, "and for you. Mom, dad please... hear me out. I’ve been looking for something all my life. I...I didn’t know exactly what it was but, I know now it begins with God, and He-- "
"Have you lost your mind?!" Her father’s voice interrupted and loomed at her, as he stepped forward blocking her exit route. "Now you listen to me, young lady! Belief in God is one thing, but this is ridiculous! You’re taking this entirely too far and it’s not necessary! Why," he demanded, "can’t you stay here and go to church?!" He cast a quick devious look at his wife, who immediately chimed in...
"Sure...sure you can, honey,” her mother said as she moved to stand beside her father, and went on with a persuasive cajoling tone, "you can go to...to...God and Jesus and all that, from right here...we won’t stop you."
"I can’t do it from here mom,” she tried to explain, "I need to be around people who believe. I need the support of those that can help me grow and stay strong in Christ and I cannot get that from you or dad! Please understand, here...," she pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and attempted to hand it to her mother, "here’s the place where I’m going. You can reach me there any time and I’ll --"
Her mother snatched the paper out of her hand and ripping it to shreds stomped on the pieces as they fluttered down and littered the deep, pile carpeting. "We don’t want this...we want you!!!" She screamed at her. "Who in the h#@! is God anyway??!! Does He provide the money for your education??! Well," she shouted, "does He??!!" She glared at her daughter as she went on furiously, "does He send you to Europe for the summer?! Who buys your clothes, gives you money and feeds you?! Who?!! Is it Him...or us?!!" Her mother angrily folded her arms across her breast and abruptly swung away in a huff.
She didn’t answer her mother. She was recalling her prior years. Her eyes moistened as she thought of how she could hardly remember a day, in her two years of attending college, when she hadn’t been under the influence of some sort of drug. And the summers she spent abroad were a complete blur. For amid the orgies and drinking sprees, she floated in and out of reality...unable to recall so much as even one name of the numerous arms she had been in.
“You can’t even answer your mother...can you?!" Her father’s voice bellowed accusingly, hastily ushering her back to the present. She watched, as he began to march angrily back and forth across the room before he stopped in front of her, his eyes narrowing. "Now you get this...and you get it straight," he spit out, "your loyalty...your life belongs to us! You make up your mind and do it right now and whatever you decide- it’s permanent!! Do you hear me?!!" His pointed finger was inches away from her face and she stepped back. "Permanent!!" He reiterated, "not one penny will we give you, not a dime…ever!! And do you want to know why? Because the bottom line, kiddio, is this; you cannot follow God and...us too!!"
She acknowledged that for the first time, her father had said something that she totally agreed with. "You know what, dad?" she responded softly, "You’re absolutely right."
Deciding not to even try to get to her duffle, she turned and left her parents standing there...stunned into silence. As she exited through the garage, she made her way around her father’s Cadillac, her mother’s Bentley, her Jaguar and grabbed her sleeping bag, which happened to be on a shelf.
The evening air was brisk, but comfortable and she inhaled deeply. She was leaving behind her family and the only home she had ever known. But she didn’t stop. She passed familiar beautifully decorated country homes before entering the town and its numerous store fronts where she heard snippets of Christmas carols as she proceeded to walk the thirty blocks to The Mission...where it had all started. There they welcomed her with open arms, and they prayed for her and her parents. Then, taking her around the corner, they secured a place for her to stay...promising that they’d help her and would find her a job.
She lingered at the window and continued to peer intensely into the heavens, which now had begun to sparkle with the beautiful gems of the night and there was one that caught her attention. One star that was so much brighter than all the others reminded her of the present season and another star...or perhaps...the same star? The one that once led shepherds and wise men to the poorest of places...a stable...to find a King.
All of a sudden, once again, eyes appeared, but these eyes were different. They were tender and filled with love and she heard a different voice, one that called her...Beloved.
It was at that moment, for the first time ever, she was flooded with complete understanding...and she knew! She understood that, indeed, she was just like the shepherds and wise men! Jesus had been leading and guiding her on a path to Him all her life! For the last three days there was no question in her mind that she had surely received the Gift of Salvation and been forgiven for all her past sins.
However, what she was now feeling was so much deeper than that! For…now she was persuaded beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would never search again and that she had been found by Him for whom her very soul had always pined.
"I know!" She was unable to hold back her tears of joy, as she cried out loud to the shining bright star... "I know who I am! I am a....Child of the King!”
THE END
Mk 10:17-22, Lk 18:28-30, Rom 8:38-39, Gal 3:26, 2Pet 3:6
copyright; 6/21/10-jmsbell