How To Make An Egg

Beat it. Repeat. Beat it again.

Make your egg wear a seat belt.

Put it in a corner and leave it there.

Drop it from a tall building to see what happens.

Take it to church. (Eggs hate church.)

Shoot it from a canon at a near by wall until you hear splat!

Tell it that it is white. Tell it that you hate white.

Place it on a major highway in NY at rush hour.

Put it on a sofa and make it watch Spanish TV.

Tell the egg its mother is a chicken and its father is a cop.

Turn it on its side if you can find a side.

Never give an egg a parachute or loaded gun on Sundays.

Make it stay sunny side up.

Egg Instructions

*You have to crack an egg to make an omelet.

Don’t let the egg make the omelet. Make it wait.

Devil your egg by making it serve in the military.

Leave it outside next to the trash on Tuesdays.

To make an egg you must first hug it right, never left and always tightly.

Roll it on the rug but only once or it will roll away.

Egg Wisdom

*A consequence or an oval precaution not adhered to, would be that which involves premarital sex between chickens, thereby producing an egg. Do not have sex with chickens. (premarital or otherwise.)

Word To The Wise

If you want to make an egg just make it. Stop talking about it. It is not going to beat itself.

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