A Trip Down Memory Lane - Part Two - The Vows
October 6th 1987... Dear Diary, Chris and I started the day off on the wrong footing. We had a row. It was silly really. I've been so worried about him lately! He simply doesn't get!
I wouldn't say that he slammed the door on his way out, but when it shut the house shook and my heart tumbled. At times like this, I counter my emotions with a large cup of tea and the radio blasting. This was no exception! With my anger defused and the housework accomplished, I sank into my chair and sighed...
Diary! A headline! Two p.m. A terrible accident not far from here! Three cars, two fatalities, six injured but in a stable condition! I couldn't help but reflect on my last conversation with Chris. I shudder to think of it! How would I bear it of his last memory, last involvement in our relationship was of an outburst of anger and not so pleasant words? I feel like such an awful wife...
At half past four this afternoon, the living room door opened and the brightest looking flowers that I have ever seen popped their heads round the corner! The dazzling smile followed.
' Chris! ' I cried as I leapt to embrace him.
' Am I forgiven Natty? ' He gently asked.
' It's me that needs to be forgiven... ' Unable to contain myself, I poured out my heart to him. I mentioned the local accident adding my fears that tragedy could well strike us if ever we parted on angry terms. He tenderly placed his hands on my cheeks and lifted my head until my eyes met his. His beautiful brown eyes seemed larger now than ever before! Silently, they transmitted to my heart the message that he understood...
He opened some wine. ' Natalie. '
' Yes darling? '
' There is something important that I need to talk to you about. '
' I'm all ears. '
' Well, I um... think it would be better to wait 'til tomorrow. '
' We can talk now. '
' I want you to be settled emotionally first. What I have to say may make you feel worse. '
' Chris. Can't you see? By shutting me out you make me feel... Worried! I feel worse not knowing... That there may be secrets. If it's important, we should discuss it. We are a team and whatever it is, we can work it out together! Just please... don't shut me out. ' He remained quiet for a moment. It was agonizing.
' Okay. ' He replied. He then told me he wanted to slip into something more comfortable and then we'd have our chat.
' Okay. ' I forced on a smile though, deep down inside, anxiety had a merciless grip on me. I took a sip of the wine. Then another. Gradually, the tension subsided and I started to relax.
Ten minutes later, Chris settled down beside me on the sofa, put his arm around my shoulders and started to explain...
' I have been going back and forth to the hospital for various tests and regular checkups. I didn't tell you earlier because I didn't want to cause you unnecessary fears and stress. But today I...' He gripped my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. ' Today I received a diagnosis. '
' And...? ' I eagerly asked.
' It's cancer. ' He wept with his head hung low.
' Oh Chris, ' I grabbed his other hand and on meeting his eyes I continued, ' I wish I'd known you were going through this. ' I sobbed, ' You shouldn't have been alone to receive such news. '
' I wasn't alone. ' He promptly stated. ' The nurses were very good and the consultant was so kind. He offered me a cup of coffee! '
' Awe Chris! ' I cried as we hugged.
' I didn't want to worry you. I realised though that with this diagnosis, you needed to know. '
' Chris. When we said our vows, we meant it. " In sickness and in health " remember? I'm here for you! It's time for me to put this part of my vow into action. It's going to be okay. We'll tackle this together. Deal? '
' Deal. ' He nodded. ' I'm surprised you're taking this so well Natty. ' He smiled, then chuckled and topped up our glasses.
' What's so funny? ' His sudden switch of emotion roused my curiosity!
' I was just thinking... What a way to settle our differences! It has been the proverbial roller coaster ride of day for us both, hasn't it? '
' You can say that again! '
' You know, even when you are angry, upset or discouraged, your eyes never lose that star like shine. '... We fell asleep on the sofa cradled in each others arms....
May 12th 1988... Dear Diary, as I rose, I noticed that Chris wasn't there. I'm first up, as a rule. But Chris' side of the bed was empty, cold and his PJ's were lying on his pillow.
' Chris. Are you okay? ' I called, tapping on the bathroom door. No sound. Where is he? Slowly, I crept down the stairs. I thought I could hear him sniffling. Our wedding album was laid wide open on the dining room table with a steamy tea to accompany it. I tiptoed closer to Chris' chair, tenderly rested my hand on his shoulder and chin on his head. ' Good morning! ' I chirped.
' Good morning honey. ' He half smiled. I tried not to show that I noticed the puffy redness around his eyes and the streaky tear lines. Sometimes, expressed sympathy can bring on greater grief. He always wanted to be strong around and for me.
' Wow! Was I really that slim? '
Chris laughed. ' You were stunning on that special day and still are. '
' I think we should take a holiday for our anniversary this year Chris... You always dreamed of going on an African Jungle Safari. I've read some amazing articles about the jungles and the wildlife. We'd love that! '
' I don't think you'd manage the heat Nat. Come to think of it, neither would I. '...
We spoke about our wedding day and the organised chaos involved in its preparation on both sides. It cheered him up a little. But Diary, those eyes of his can't deceive me. I saw his pain through his laughter. I felt utterly helpless! There was nothing I could do to relieve him of it. It was torture!
' It's time we told Emily. ' Chris suggested.
' I agree. We wouldn't want it to be nasty shock for her. Emily has so much of your disposition Chris. I know she'll take it well. '
' Yes...' He pondered for a while. His profound silence was prematurely interrupted by the ringing telephone.
' Hello... It's Emily! Hi sweetheart, how are things?... Yes... Yes... Oh that's brilliant honey! Chris, Emily has been offered a job... Working for the local newspaper! '
' Wow! Fantastic! Please, pass her over. '
' I'm just passing you over to your father. '
' Emily!... Yes. Your mother and I are so proud!... Yes. If all goes well you will make a superb journalist... Ah ha, the columns is a great start!... Okay Emily. It's wonderful to hear your news... Be ... before you go, we'd like you to come for dinner tomorrow night... Yes. Bring whoever you like dear. The more the merrier!... Okay, I will. Bye. We love you! ' His eyes lit up. ' Emily is coming for dinner tomorrow. It's wonderful isn't it Natalie? She always wanted a career in writing! '
' She truly is a credit to us both! ' I cheered. My heart was dancing with joy over how happier he seemed for the call. ' How many will I be cooking for tomorrow dear? '
' Just four, I think. She said she was bringing a friend. But... '
' But what Chris? '
' I could hear a man's voice in the background! '
' Oh! ' I gasped. ' Our little girl is growing up. Do you suppose she has a man in her life now? '
' Could be. ' Chris answered, patting on the table, signalling me to sit beside him...
May 13th 1988... Dear Diary, Chris has not long fallen asleep. We have had quite a day...
This morning I went to the shops to buy some goodies for Emily and her " friend " to enjoy during their visit. I arrived home to find Chris supping Cocoa! He was supposed to be in work until five o'clock this evening. It had just passed the eleventh hour in the morning! Strange. ' You're home early. Did you take ill at work? ' His pasty complexion compelled me to ask.
' No. The boss called me into his office. The hospital rang. The consultant wants me to go in and see him today, at one o'clock if possible. '
' Okay. Let me pop these things away and I'll be ready to join you. '... We left straight away...
The wait at the hospital felt like an age! Then, Chris was summoned. He requested permission for me to be present. Before the consultant had a chance to speak, Chris introduced him to me. He followed this by asking him to explain the diagnosis and the impact his health would have on our daily life...
The consultant was so warm as Chris had described. He handled his explanation delicately. Then, the world around us shattered - a prognosis!
' I'm really sorry Mr Johnston. But it is my unpleasant responsibility to inform you that your illness is terminal... You have a year or so, two at best... '
We both sat motionless. His lips kept moving but we heard no sound. It was as though all our senses, all our abilities to process and receive information had suffered a major malfunction! I couldn't tell you how long this numbness lasted for Diary. But when I was able to hear again, the consultant mentioned the support that was available for us both... ' particularly for you Mrs Johnston, post the loss of your husband. '
I turned, stared into my husband's eyes and slowly replied, ' Thank you doctor. But I have all the support I need. Right here. In this amazing man. ' With a lump in his throat and little else to say, he ushered us out of the room before he allowed his soul to be completely overwhelmed by the intensity of the hardest moment in our married life, so far! I really appreciated his sincerity...
We were back home by a quarter past four. Emily was due within the next hour! I told Chris to go and have a rest before she came. But Chris being Chris, he insisted on helping me to prepare the meal...
Before we knew it, a knock on the door. Chris went to welcome them.
' Hello darling! Your mother is in the kitchen. Hello! And you are? '
' I'm James sir. James Harrison. '
A man friend? I thought Chris was winding me up yesterday! I was expecting a workmate... My thoughts were charging around like they were competing in the Grand National! Could he be more than a friend?
' Hi mum! Can I help at all? '
' Hi Emily! I think we've got everything under way. But thank you for the offer. So... ' I paused. I couldn't believe that this beautiful, assertive woman was my daughter and not that little girl anymore. ' Your father and I are so excited for you! Getting a career in the news industry! From a young age, you always said that you wanted your work to involve writing. And it is so good to see you, my wonderful girl, making your dreams a reality! '
' Awe. Thanks mum. It's small beginnings but I'm hoping to be able to travel, to report back to the UK from anywhere in the world! Right now, my task is to produce columns about the various activities that our local schools are getting involved in. It could be a play, a sporting event, anything. If my boss is impressed with my work, I can begin climbing the ladder to the ultimate job! But, you may find yourself excited for me for another reason...' She had me hooked. The expression on my face obliged her to add, ' I will explain shortly. ' She linked arms with me and led me into the living room to meet James...
We chatted over dinner. It was great to catch up with Emily again! Just when it felt like the right opportunity to break our news to her, she grabbed it first by telling us, ' There is a little more news. Mum. Dad. James and I are engaged! '
' Really? Fantastic news honey! ' I gave them both a huge hug.
' Welcome to the family James. It will be nice to have another man around! ' Chris congratulated, shaking his hand.
' So when are you planning the wedding for? '
' We couldn't tell you mum. James only popped the question last night. I could hardly breathe, let alone think about plans! '
James couldn't stop grinning. ' For a while, I've been trying to imagine the best setting for the proposal. In the end, I decided to...'
' I was so nervous, surprised, embarrassed, ' Emily interrupted, ' but it was fun! ' We all laughed.
' So? ' Chris probed. ' How did you do it on the end? '
' Every now and then, we join our friends for a night out. We go to different places. Last night, we went to see a show that a group of people in the community were putting on for charity. I happen to know the man who organised the event. I was telling him that I wanted to propose to Emily in a novelty way. Usually, this man likes to invite members of the audience to get involved in the final scene. They can do anything, from carrying a prop to throwing in a random line to make the actors adlib... '
Emily held her head in her hands and giggled again.
' Before you carry on James... '
' Sure. ' He said patiently.
' During the interval, James said that he was going to pop to the shop for some snacks for us all. We knew he wouldn't be back on time for the show to continue and so we thought nothing of his absence. We failed to notice how much time elapsed and the show was nearing its end. You continue now James. '
' Ok, ' he laughed, ' the leading character called out...
" It's now time for one lucky member of our audience to get in on the act. Word has it that a Miss Emily Johnston is tonight's volunteer! ' Emily was stunned. She sat shaking her head in absolute refusal! ' Come now, don't be shy!...' Our friends started chanting, Em-i-ly! Em-i-ly! while pointing at her. The audience joined in whilst clapping! Exposed and beetroot red, she shuffled her way towards to stage. Head bowed. Arms folded ... ' Here she is. A round of applause for Emily! " What happens next dear? '
' I ran off the stage? ' She teased. We listened intently, anticipating what she'd say. ' No. The leading character told me to go to the tree and it would speak to me. He literally had to push me across the stage! My nerves paralyzed me. The tree turned around to face me... It was James! I didn't notice the microphone being placed beside us and all I could think to say was, " You never told me you were in the play! "
' That's because I'm not. '
' Oh... Well, why are you a tree? '
James grinned. He picked an apple off the branch nearest to me. It had a satin red ribbon around it. Slowly, he loosened the bow... He had the audience well captivated! He opened the apple. There was a box inside. As he knelt, he opened the box. He told me
" Apples are green. The sky is blue. My life would mean nothing without you! Will you marry me? "...'
' I don't think you could get more imaginative than that! Novelty, unique and brilliant! Well done James! ' Chris commended.
' Tell them how you answered, Emily. '
' Oh man! I cringe to think of it! '
' Go on! ' I demanded. ' What did you say? '
' First of all, I faced the audience, pointed in the direction of our friends and a squeaked, " Were you in on this? " The crowd thought this was great! According to the man who organised the event, they were as surprised as I was. I turned back to face James, told him how sneaky and adorable he was and told him that of course I'd marry him. " I just hope you don't dress like a tree for our wedding! " Then everyone cheered again! '
' You do realise this is all on video tape don't you Em? ' James asked rather mischievously. The colour drained from her face.
' I hope you're joking! '
' No. ' He paused to cause effect. ' They sell the videos to the public to help raise funds for charity. '
I must admit, he had me convinced. Emily gulped. He couldn't keep a poker face, nor contain his laughter.
' You are joking! Don't scare me like that! ' She gave him a playful thump on the arm and heaved a sigh of relief. ' You're looking tired dad, have you had a busy day? '
' You could say that love. The work pattern has been a bit all over the place lately. You know yourself how trying a change in routine can be. '
' True. ' Emily agreed, quite satisfied with Chris' answer...
When Emily and James departed, Chris and I discussed our news and reached a unanimous decision that it was not yet the right time to reveal her father's condition to her. After all, she was just finding her happiness in her adult life and neither of us wanted to spoil that for her. At least, not so soon...
The instant Chris' head hit the pillow, he was out like a light. Night, night my dear Diary. What a day it has been!
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