(Actually a poem but to long) Broken wings
Broken wings
Do you remember the day I finally left, you wouldn't even give me key,
You wanted to take absolutely anything and everything you possibly could from me,
My home, my self worth, my dignity you blamed me for everything and therefore wanted revenge,
I couldn't believe it, you had become entrenched ready for battle to seek out your revenge, .
You said you loved yet you were the creator of our suffering in unrequited love I was unbeloved,
You wanted to inflict so much pain and cruelty onto me, how could your lying lips be so evoked,.
Of course I inculpated myself and hid the extent of the abuse to forfend you, you went unrevoked,
You didn't just bruise my ego privately though did you, oh no you would also publicly humiliate me, But that was ok because it was just bar stool banter and I shouldn't have been so sensitive silly me,
You had no intentions of letting me go quietly, easily smoothly constantly adding temptation,
The messages were like chalk and cheese either filled with rage and hate or utter adulation
You were losing your grip and the control you had over me so you had to have one more big hurrah but as we both no you took it way too far.
One more dirty unforgivable emotional hurrah,
In fact this hurts more than every, physical punch, every kick every slap every grip and grab.
You still refuse to take accountability for your actions dragging my name through the mud,
Calling me a liar, how dare you, we both know that your hands caused my blood shed,
You decided my demise was your only option to feel victorious to get revenge and satisfaction,
And I soon realised that beauty is but Skin deep ; within is Filth and Putrefaction.
You became so ugly it's like the vindictiveness began to seep out through your pores,
Regardless of the repercussions, I became a pawn in your mental tormenting wars
You would inflict them upon me again and again
But eventually I was out of your reach,
You thought you had broken my wings, total control over me and would constantly beseech me,;
You successfully broke me, ripping my wings away so I had no escape I was your property,
You stole my freedom, my love of living life,
i was a victim of your conquest to live this life somberly and without any hope of liberty.
You thought you had won and so did I, until one day I moved my chess pieces out of your reach,
And you could no longer antagonise me anymore, I couldn't fall off the floor, which is where I was.
Healing took a long time I had become so totally codependent on you and what you said was law.
I even lost the capability to think for myself but now I understand why, you wanted to silence me,
But never again will I be forced to be silent,
You stripped me of anything and everything so that the negativity you'd drilled into me was so violatingly violent
It soon became my new truth, You mentally stole my identity I'd spent 3 decades cultivating,
You literally crushed me and shattered my heart, your need to dominate me was devastating.
It was inevitable that the effect would be enervating.
When I finally left, I left as a shell of the woman who you'd first met,
I didn't think I could go on, mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually you'd abused every ounce of me and I literally had nothing left,
Yet somehow from somewhere I took my broken wings and I slowly began thd repair,
Until eventually I could once again soar up to the abyss of the skies, I re-taught myself to fly.
I did it! I won! you no longer have a hold on me! , you can no longer control me!
Because thanks to these once broken, but now mended wings! I'm free!!
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