If when a businessman speaks of minority employment, or air pollution, or poverty, he speaks in the language of a certified public accountant analyzing a corporate balance sheet, who is to know that he understands the human problems behind the statistical ones? If the businessman would stop talking like a computer printout or a page from the corporate annual report, other people would stop thinking he had a cash register for a heart. It is as simple as that -- but that isn't simple.
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Happy Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass.
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An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. 'Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night.' 'Have you tried counting sheep?' 'That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.'
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Never call an accountant a credit to his profession a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
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WC Fields' accountant was standing by his deathbed. Fields asked 'So I have enough money to buy every child in NYC a new bicycle?' When told he was correct, Fields said 'Well, fuck 'em.'
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I wake up every morning and thank God I?m not a chartered accountant any longer, but involved with property.
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Of course I'm doing something about my overdraft: I'm seeing my accountant.
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